My boyfriend's cousin gave me this great idea. It seems that one of her girlfriends who's single was burgled once while she was home alone. It was dark and as soon as she realized an intruder was in the house, she yelled at the top of her lungs, "{Insert manly name here], COME QUICK AND BRING THE GUN!" And the intruder actually ran off! Hopefully, I'll never have reason to use it but I just thought I'd share...
I love this song not only for it's lyrical beauty and simplicity but it just soothes me when I hear it. It makes me think about how blessed I am and that no matter what I go through, Love is always there waiting for me. I think Fred Hammond is one of the greatest lyricists of our time. Hope this inspires you today.
When Love Calls You Home
1997, Matters of the Heart
Lyrics by Fred Hammond, Performed by Commissioned
Waiting on the edge of your prodigal heart
Wanting for someone to save you from yourself
Out there on the edge dangling somewhere in the darkness
Doubting if anybody really cares
But when Love reached through the shadows
Whispering your name
And nothing will ever be the same again
Chorus: For when Love calls you home
Forgiveness embraces the past you once owned
And all the mistakes that carried your name are gone
Cause that's what happens when Love calls you home
Cradled in Your mercy that has no limit
I've finally found a place where I belong
Now I can't imagine one moment without you in it
It's hard to believe I tried to make it on my own
But You picked me up from the ruins of my broken life
And when every chance was spent, You gave me one more try
'Cause when Love calls you home
Forgiveness embraces the past you once owned
And all the mistakes that carried your name are gone
Cause that's what happens when Love calls you home...
Check out this game on Ellen's site that gives you song phrases. You have to tell whether they are from "Hip Hop" songs (Hint: It really should be called "Hip Hop/R&B or Not") or not. Kinda fun. I'm sad to say I missed a few. Enjoy!
http://ellen.warnerbros.com/game/hiphop/
Just got my yoga on and showered, so I'm feeling really relaxed. When I do yoga, by the end of the routine, my mind gets super focused. I start to hear the voices inside. It hit me that tomorrow's the end of the month, the last day of January 2007. That number rings in my head - 2007. Seven is the number of perfection, completion (as is discovered in the Bible and other historical texts), and just so happens to be my favorite number. I'll be 34 (3+4 hmmm) this year - in the 7th month of 2007 (anyone out there into numerology?). I figure with all these 7's, this must be MY year for completion and perfection. Not saying I'll ever be perfect, but I strive to be the best me that I can.
Another thing popped into my mind - this kid, Marc Yu, that was on Ellen DeGeneres last week that shared the lovely Gandhi joke i posted earlier. He's an 8 year old "prodigy" who can play the piano like a beast. You can just hear the intelligence when he talks. He probably makes all A's in school and will be in college by age 13 and a brain surgeon at 20.
Well, I'm too old to be a child prodigy. But, I've decided I want to be a guru - an expert at something. So why do I need your help? I need to find out what it is I can be a guru at! (In the voice of Little Richard in that Geico commercial, "Help me! Somebody, help me!")
You see, I'm pretty darn good at a lot of things, damn good at a few things, and pretty great at a couple things. I am knowledgeable about a lot of things and can advise people on most things (go ahead - ask me!). But sadly, I am no guru at anything... or if I am I haven't realized it yet.
I wanna be so great at something or so knowledgeable on a subject that Oprah and The Today Show invite me at least a couple times a year (and Ellen DeGeneres, too!). I want to be known as the authority on that thing. I want people to write letters or post questions on my blog requesting my assistance on that thing. I want to travel the world to share my knowledge or give seminars on the subject of my guru-ness.
So, people who know me... any ideas? What do you see me being great at? And people who don't know me, what thing does the world need a guru on? What is there that seems there is no authority on the subject? I'm creative and a fast learner. Ya'll know my goal is to be a woman of leisure and retire by age 40. I need your ideas! I'm trying to blow up. I promise, I'll take you all there with me!
It's no secret that I love food. I love to entertain and I love to cook for others. Living alone gives me the chance to experiment and indulge in guilty pleasures so I just thought I'd share. I was just inspired by my yummy lunch to share a few of my favorite food concoctions that I've kept secret for many years. I try to find creative ways to eat/snack that are healthy/low cal, too. Some, you might find weird, but I promise they are delicious.
Please feel free to share some of your secret food concoctions or let me know if you've tried anything here and liked it!
(What I just ate for lunch) - Scrambled egg, cheese, n ketchup sammich (on toasted bread). This sammich feels indulgent but it's actually quite healthy. You get your fiber/grains (if you do the whole wheat or whole grain bread), lotsa protein from the egg(s), and your dairy from the cheese. The ketchup makes it POP though. Another little secret is to scramble your eggs with a tablespoon or two of water (makes 'em extra fluffy) and a dash of garlic powder (in add'n to the regular salt and pep). Also works great with fried egg.
Here are a few other wild quickie recipes:
+ Pickles and saltine crackers. Take a slice of pickle (Bread 'n Butter Chips are my fav's) and put it on a saltine cracker. I'm serious! Fa-Bu-Lis!
+ Special K Vanilla and Almond cereal with your (low fat) ice cream or frozen yogurt of choice. THE TRUTH! Lower cals than a sugar cone and gives extra flavor and crunch!
+ Grape Nuts cereal and dried cranberries in yogurt. Instead of granola which is high in fat, sugar and calories, this is lowfat and gives lots of crunch and fiber.
[Some of you know I eat Grape Nuts almost every morning (except for my Bob Evan's Saturdays with De). It gives you lots of fiber and tons of energy. Tastes like cardboard bits but if you add some fruit and use Vanilla Milk (i have to do Soy) it's pretty good, esp if you like CRUNCH. I also add it on top of salads for more texture too! The generic store brand of Grape Nuts (Giant calls 'em Nutty Nuggets - stop laughing GB) are just as good as the real thing and much cheaper.]
+ Ice cream/frozen yogurt with saltine crackers (Vesta's the bestas). The little touch of saltiness makes it great! Sounds crazy but try it seriously.
+ Instead of Rice Crispy treats make Cap'n Crunch Treats: use a cereal of your choice with the melted marshmellow/butter mix instead of Rice Crispies- my fav is Cap'n Crunch peanut butter cereal.
+ Cheddar cheese slices or peanut butter on Granny Smith apples. Great with a dessert wine!
+ Thai-style sauce for stirfry chicken/veges. Mix crunchy style peanut butter, a few dashes of soy sauce, some rice vinegar, dried parsley, salt n pep and some crushed red pepper. Mix well and toss with the chicken/veges. So easy and will impress! Serve with steamed rice. SA-LAM-MIN'.
Enjoy!
As you know, Mahatma Gandhi, the great spiritual leader was much of his life barefoot as he seeked self-sufficiency and made his own clothing. This lead to many a corn on his feet, as he was known for his long marches and protests in his search for non-violence and truth. He also had a thin, frail body and was plagued with bad breath because of his minimalist diet and fasting and was know to even drink his own urine to survive. This made him a...
Super-caloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-with-halitosis.
(I didn't make it up. Credit to the 8yr old genius piano composer I saw on Ellen this morning.)
I may be late to this but it cracked me up so i had to post. Thanks, Sarge.
...and while you're at it, take my dignity, too!
Unless you're strung out and "Feenin'" like Jodeci, most people wouldn't give all that up -- especially for some joker you're not even married to and hasn't at least shown you in some way that he'd give you the same in return. I'm speaking as a female here, but I'm sure this goes for both men and women, gay or straight.
Today, I am beside myself with grief (we are sharing a loveseat right now!). I can't seem to figure out why all these educated (which I could say "smart" or "intelligent" but...) females are getting wrapped up with jokers who not only don't treat them right, but who have nothing good to show for the 20+ to 40+ years they've been on this earth. With all the books and talk shows out there showing people getting taken advantage of every day by their spouses, friends, family, etc., why does it seem that when it comes to love relationships, all these educated people are dumb enough to put up with any ole crap that happens to get stuck to the bottom of their shoes?
Somebody, please help me understand. All I can assume is that they: (1) have low self-esteem and feel they can't do any better; (2) felt unloved as a child so now they take whatever "forms" of love they can get, i.e. believing "sex" equates to "love;" (3) are desperate to have children and think they're clock's going to stop ticking; or (4) are just lonely as hell and want someone around - even if it is only once a month for 2 hours.
Man, I can't call it. Don't get me wrong -- I've been there, too. I overstand what it's like to feel lonely and want some companionship or a man to just touch me in the morning before he walks away. Lord knows I've dealt with my load of bull-isht, and I, too, have kayaked in the river called De-nial. But it never lasted for long. I think the longest I ever dated a dude after I started seeing the signs of laziness, moochiness, and disrespect was just under 2 months and I thought that was too much time wasted. But I'm seeing women stay with these boys (can't call them "men") for years. I'm perusing the stories (both new and old) of friends and their relationships with men in my mind and I'm sitting here like Miss Celie, screaming, "Whyyyyyyy?"
Well, since folks might see this blog someday, I can't call anybody out. What I will offer is some common sense pointers that perhaps we just need to be reminded of.
I can't speak for everybody, but this is just my truthiness on the subject -- things I would never put up with.
I call this list: "When You Know He Ain't Right" (for me).
1. When he only comes over after 10pm and doesn't take you out in public.
2. When it's been over 6 months and you've never met any of his friends or family.
3. When he doesn't have a job or some sort of income for more than a couple months and you are helping to pay his bills/child support, and he shows no promise of finding employment and shows no guilt about taking your money.
4. When he is over 30 years old and owns nothing but some electronics (TV, Stereo, etc.) and has no savings in the bank.
5. When he does not have his own vehicle and you are in a city that does not have a subway system.
6. When he has lied to you about stupid stuff that have nothing to do with surprising you with a gift.
7. When his mama comes to his place every so often to clean.
8. When he is over 25 and lives with his mama, and she has no serious illness or need for him to be there. Caveat: Unless he says and can prove that he is saving for a home purchase or some other fabulis reason.
9. When he wants to move in with you as soon as he moves out of his mama house. OR if he wants to move in with you (into your place) within 3 months of meeting you.
10. When you find female clothing or other items that aren't yours in his home (Don't buy that, "That must be from when my sister/cousin was here" mess.)
11. When he has been "starting his own business" since you met him over a year ago and still has no business cards or clients.
12. When he orders "Merlot" with dinner and clearly pronounces the "t".
13. When you have to ask if you can use your own car whenever he's not using it. And, he never puts gas in the tank when he is driving it all the time.
14. When you gave him the drawz on dates 1, 2, or 3 and you haven't heard from him since via anything other than text message or IM (or he doesn't contact you at all)
15. When he is consistently late or standing you up and/or his only excuse is "I had to make a run."
16. When his cell phone rings off the hook after 11pm and he never answers it around you.
17. When his way of proving he's a good father is saying, "I send my child support every month," or when he sees his child less than every other week and lives in the same city. He should also be on the phone with his child at least once a day too.
18. When he never lets you come over to his place.
19. When he always turns the ringer off on his phone when you're together.
20. When he calls you out of your name (and it's not a cute pet name).
21. When you have fear around him - either fear of him, or for yourself or your child in general.
22. When you ask him to house-sit for you and you come home to find all your souvenir bottles of liquor you brought back from other countries have been opened and half emptied, all your plants are dead, your cats have no food in the bowl, your car (which you asked him not to drive) has french fries between the seat and center console that you didn't drop, your pet turtle is gone (most likely dead), the antique lamp your mama gave you is smashed to pieces and you're picking dried up pepperoni and pizza sauce out of your white carpet from all around and underneath your sofa.
OK, I'm sure I've forgotten some, so feel free to add more to the list. But consider this: Whatever you're putting up with now, won't change when you get get married. Really spend some time thinking about whether you want to put up with his/her behavior for the rest of your life. Some things that seem cute at first can end up buggin' the hell out of you. And only you can decide whether you can forgive him and trust him enough to believe he'll never do "it" again... whatever "it" may be.
Alls I'm sayin' is, you gotta love and respect yourself. Learn to be content with your own company. Do what you gotta do - hell, watch a movie, read a book or pleasure yourself (take that however you want to). But don't give up your dignity and let your low self esteem keep you in a relationship that is only draining you. C'mon, get your head right! You have to believe that you are a child of God and worthy of greatness - worthy of respect.
Some men take til they're 40 to get some Act Right. Some never do. But believe that there are some good ones out there. Make it the norm to expect that they come to the table with something. Not necessarily as much as you have, but at the very least, respect. If they truly respect God and themselves, then they will respect you as long as you've presented yourself in a respectful way (that last part is important!). If they really have that, they can't help but be hard-working, honest, loving and giving to you and on their way to greatness just like you.
For alla y'all out there from Alabama or deep in the "dirty", this won't seem odd to you. I grew up singing the jingles from many a country-fried commercial like this one. This one was particularly catchy and made me feel nostalgic, so I had to share. I must say bruh man is light on his feet.... Enjoy!
TV One had an "All About the Andersons" (AAA) marathon this weekend. I feel guilty for watching almost all of the episodes (I was cleaning house simultaneously, so that's my excuse), but I must say this is a really good sitcom. Much like My Wife and Kids in that I never watched the first run during prime time, I'm really digging the synicated re-runs of the sitcoms. They are wholesome shows that teach lessons on morals, character and family - something I've been missing for years since The Cosby Show. It's a shame that AAA didn't make it on national network TV. Personally, I think it would beat out half the sitcoms out there on primetime.
It doesn't hurt that a star from Good Times (one of my all-time favorite sitcoms) -- John Amos is one of the stars of AAA and pretty much plays the same role as he did as James Evans who reminds me very much of my late father. Comedian, Anthony Anderson (Barbershop, Me, Myself & Irene, Big Momma's House, Life), does a great job along with some of my other favorite sitcom stars: Roz Ryan of Amen and Broadway fame, appearances by Lou Myers, aka Mr. Gaines from A Different World, as well as some budding newcomers to the sitcom scene.
The cast of AAA is diverse and the content is realistic, depicting a struggling single father who moves back in with his parents after his wife abandons him and their young son. They hit a lot on relationship with friends and family, trust, disciplining youngsters, and respect. Let's face it, while I adore Fresh Prince, Will & Grace and Seinfeld -- in my opinion, three of the all time great sitcoms of the late 90's and into this century, they didn't teach a whole lot of family values and they weren't exactly great for little kids. I don't have kids but I really enjoy the dynamics of the very likeable characters and the writers make it really funny and each episode leaves you with a little "warm and fuzzy". Definitely check it out when you get a chance!
What exactly does a wink really mean these days?
wink: Pronunciation: 'wi[ng]k. verb1 : to shut one eye briefly as a signal or in teasing
Signal for what though? Say somebody winked at you, like, ummmm, ohhh... let's just say.... your girl's man. Ok, here's the sichy-ay-shun. Picture it... Sicily... 1948. OK, fa real doh... We were at a little cocktail party. This was only the second time I'd ever encountered him. Anyway, I'm having a good time chatting it up with friends, and I just happen to look around and catch him looking at me. I casually continue my glance around the room. I then look at him again and he's still staring at me and then he winks. Very clearly winks. I don't think there was something in his eye and I'm sure he was looking at me cuz I double checked. So, I quickly look away not believing I saw what I saw. Approx 2-3 seconds later, I look back and catch him still looking and he smiles at me. A slick, heeby-jeebyish smile.
Needless to say I haven't told my girl. I can't - right, Ladies? Could I be wrong that this was a come-on? Fellas, what does it mean when you wink at a female? And would you wink at your woman's girl in just a friendly way? This has been buggin' me for a minute. So, whatdya think?
My friends know I've been saying this for years. It's been one of my major goals life - "to be a woman of leisure." That’s my American Dream. It doesn't mean I want to marry rich (though I have nothing against it!) or that I need to win the lottery (would love to!). It means that I am not working or paying bills for my health or because I really love it. Being self-employed or owning businesses is great - it suits me to not have to answer to a "boss" other than myself. But people say "It must be so fulfilling..." NOT! It's hard work!
Not having a steady paycheck or regular hours is tough. It takes a lot of discipline and determination to stay motivated to be owner, marketer, admin assistant, and primary worker of your own business. But my primary reason for working is so that I won’t be a bum on the street. Not because I want to.
It would be such a pleasure to wake up and not have to call anybody, answer any emails or do any work. I'd love to be Weezy Jefferson and go down to The Help Center and volunteer my time to help at risk teens, single mothers, or someone who just needs a listening ear. It would be a joy to get up every morning and paint or create art, write a novella, go to the gym, watch Ellen, Oprah and Ugly Betty, and end the day cooking an exciting gourmet meal because I felt like it. Who the heck WANTS to work?
My dad (God rest his soul) was and my mom still is a workaholic - at age 64. At this point it's not because she has to - it's because she doesn't know what else to do with herself. I’m grateful for them showing me how to aim high and work hard to reach my goals, but I sho nuff pray I'm not still working at that age. I'm trying to retire by 40 actually!
I don't know if this is a good or bad thing, but the ambition I had in my 20's has waned. By age 28, I had hustled and scraped my way to the top as a Senior Creative Director at an IT Consulting Firm (OK it wasn't the top but it was as high as I needed to get before I became an independent consultant). I definitely believed that whoever acquired the most “toys” wins. I went through all the real estate investing, jewelry, motorcycles, luxury cars, clothes, shoes and handbags. Hell, if I’d not gone so crazy on the last 5 things, I’d probably be able to retire tomorrow! But now in my 30’s I’m finding that my priorities have changed. I don’t need all the “bling” anymore. I just want to be comfortable and not have to worry about finances. But the biggest change is – I don’t want to work.
Oprah said to find your passion and try and turn it into a career, so I started on a second degree in Interior Design. But do I really want to start from scratch in a new industry? And once it becomes a job, will I lose the passion for it – just like I’ve done with graphic design (been doing that for 12 years). Starting in a new career also may set my age-40 retirement goal back a bit. SIGH!
So, lately my mind energy has been spent on thinking of creative ways to reach my goal as soon as possible – finding some great idea or inventing some innovative product that will sell like pet rocks and rubix cubes and make millions so I can live my life of leisure.
So, does it make me lazy to want to not work? Am I wrong for not wanting to bust my tail for a check? Why should our goal be to turn 60 or 65 when we can retire and enjoy a real vacation? Why should we have to wait ‘til we’re too old to go hiking in the rainforests of Africa or too wrinkled to sunbath on the shores of Greece? I say, why wait?
What do you call a blind deer?
I-have-no-eye-deer.
What do you call a blind deer with no legs?
I-still-have-no-eye-deer.
This topic has been on my mind for a while. I spent the holidays surrounded by family including 7 nieces and nephews - all 5 and under. Some of them are bad. I mean not bad like evil-bad, but they are so spoiled rotten that I couldn't stand to be around them for more than a short time. There were a few times I had to go into a bedroom to get away from the screaming, crying, and temper tantrums.
My 3 siblings don't spank their kids. They pretty much give them whatever they want, even after they've said "No" 5 times. If a child nags long enough for something, they receive it. This bothers me. At times I wanted to snatch up a kid myself and wail on them but I know it's not my place and that I'd be the bad guy - even if the boy is setting his sister on fire.
I was raised by a military father who beat us at least once a week. If it was Friday afternoon and I'd not yet received a "whupping" that week, either Daddy was out of town or I thought the world was coming to an end. When I say "beat" I mean, he threw his back into it. This was no spank-with-the-hand-across-Daddy's-lap. This was a "Go outside and get me three green switches," type beating, where he had to hold your left arm, lest the pain make you fall to the ground as you ran around in counter-clockwise circles yelling for help and pleading for mercy. (I realize now that the "Go get a switch" thing was an opportunity for Daddy to calm down. If he didn't feel like giving you the opportunity to escape the severest beatings, he simply whipped off his 3" x 1/4" leather belt and let loose on your backside - butt and legs included.)
I remember telling myself I would never beat my kids because I felt we were borderline-abused. One time my oldest brother got whipped for wearing all white. Seriously. OK, I know that is a bit extreme and I plan not to beat my kids unless they actually do something wrong, and it would only be if there is no alternative and they refused to learn from the previous tongue-lashing. But at younger ages, there is no reasoning with some kids. Children these days seem to be given too many liberties. I have friends who are buying their 2-5 year olds their own laptops (one for each kid) and elementary school kids all have cell phones. Am I wrong for thinking this is just a bit too much? Don't kids need to learn to share? Don't they need to learn to want for a few things and realize that not everything in life comes so easy if you just whine for it?
I feel like if they are this out of hand before kindergarten, how will they fare when they have to share things at school and learn that they can't have everything they want. I feel like they are being set up for some major disappointments. Granted, we didn't have much when we little, so we learned to appreciate what little we did get - whether hand-me-down clothes from our cousins, or sneakers from the Freds Drug Store. Kids these days don’t know the value of money or things that cost money (which is pretty much everything they want). They don’t seem to understand the word “No”.
I may be a few years off from having kids (assuming I do eventually), but I'm seriously reconsidering my self-promise to not beat them. I think my siblings and I all turned out pretty darn good even though we got more beatings than we could count. Are kids these days even learning the repercussions of acting up and screaming for no good reason in public? Not my nieces or nephews. They can yell and run around restaurants and do whatever they want - with absolutely no consequences. Their parents don't even seem to think there's a problem with it. I seem to be the only one who's embarrassed with other people stare at the pack of 3-5 year olds running around messing up tables which their parents are not seated at. Is it just me?
Dear LOVE,
You spoke to me just now while I was in the shower. And I'm so grateful for being able to hear You. How wondrous it feels to hear Your voice and know You are with me.
"I'm not done yet," You said.
I thought, "Say what?"
Lately, I've been hurting, stressing, being down about turning older and still being single -- having relationship after relationship and having them not work out… thinking - what's wrong with me? Why does it seem so many others are finding love and commitment, and marriage and family, and I'm not? I feel I'm ready, so what am I doing wrong? But I had a revelation today!
It's not me! When I think back on every single relationship I've been in, the one thing that was consistent throughout was that I really loved each of them. People search all their lives for their one true love, and while I'm still waiting for mine - the man you've destined to be my husband and the father of my children, I can say without doubt that every man I ever loved knew that I loved him with all my heart. Not one of them ever said, "M--, you didn't show me you loved me enough," or "M--, you didn't love me as much as I loved you," or "M--, I needed you to love me more." All of them had no doubt in their minds that I loved them. And it wasn't a partial love where part of my heart belonged to someone else from the past and I could only love the current man with a limited kind of love. Each of them were loved with my whole heart - with my complete attention.
I never cheated, never strayed. I truly loved them with all that was in me. Over time I've become bitter and today I realized the bitterness is not comprised of the hurts they caused or the things they did wrong in the relationship (well maybe alittle bit is). But for the most part, I've been bitter with myself! I've been angry with me because I loved them too hard - too fiercely - with total abandon. I put my whole self into each relationship and rewrote my whole life to fit their story - whether it was just for 6 months or three and a half years. I gave too much, I loved too much, I did too much for them, I worked too hard to make it work. and in the end, I failed. But what were Jesus' two greatest commands laid down to man?
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. And Love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22: 37-39
So, in essence, I was simply following Jesus' command. However, I found fault in my love. I loved those men as Your Son described in the first commandment, when I should have been loving You that way. And I didn't love the men as I loved myself, but rather as something more than myself - as if they were gods. How wrong I felt. But today you said, "That's alright, my daughter." And yes, it is! For how can there ever be error in loving someone?
All that love that I poured out on them came back to me: every single one of those men loved me in their own unique way and each taught me something about love, about myself and about other people that helped shape me into who I am today... It has happened repeatedly when I look back on my life: whenever I feel I've given too much of myself, of my love to someone, I receive more love than I deserve from someone else, either another man, a friend, or a family member, and sometimes even a stranger. Thank you, Love! You just keep giving me more and more. So I know it will only get better and better.
It wasn't me! My relationships ended because not one of them was right for me - not because of something I did wrong. I did everything as best I could, and that's all anyone could ask, and that's all I could ask of each of them. They each loved me in their own way - they just could not love me the way I needed to be loved. So, it is alright to have loved and lost. More than alright - it's wonderful. I did not fail. I succeeded at doing what You've wanted me to do all along. You created me to love - that was Your purpose for me before my bones were even fashioned, and I've learned to do it well, for you've given me a heart that heals and is able to love over and over again, and stronger and better each time. Every time I love someone, I am loving You more, and I am pleasing You. So that cannot be wrong!
My friends tell me "Girl, you love too hard. You give too much." But there is no "too much" when it comes to loving and giving. I should never be ashamed to have loved even if the person I loved didn't give it back, for I was contributing to some one's joy: to the universe's joy. And the universe gives that joy back to me in so many other ways! Even if it's in the solitude of my own home, when I am at peace and have a quiet joy in my heart. Even if that joy is being still and hearing from You, Lord.
Just like today. I've felt like throwing in the towel and trying a different method. I told myself I would only give as much as I received and would have to receive first before I started giving in return. Yes, I was teaching myself to be selfish. But how can I ration love when You give it to me unconditionally? Who am I to ration love when it's all around me and I'm so full of it? Love isn't love until you've given it away, so I can't expect to receive that which I am not willing to give. You said, "Don't stop loving, my child. Don't stop giving, and feeling, and being who you are. For I have provisioned far more love for you than you've ever dreamed of. I'm not done yet."
(C) Sept 2, 2004As you move into a new year and think about all you've done and all you wish to do, consider your passion. Think about and write down the thing(s) you love to do most. How can you move closer to realizing your passion and making it something you can do all the time? Perhaps you have a passion that you can turn into a career. Perhaps you have a passion that you've done nothing with in years. I have so many things I love doing - traveling, drawing and painting, designing new things, playing with my nieces and nephews... Here is a poem I wrote a couple years ago that I hope will inspire you to write down your passion and be creative about how to incorporate your passion into your daily life. Life is so much more exciting and pleasant when you can wake up in the morning and do something that feeds your passion every day!
My Passion
© September 7, 2004
Last night, I was asked, “What is your passion?”
My mouth guessed with assumptions and accusations
What drives me -- the feel goods.
Niceties and fun, what makes me tick and run.
Travel, music, written, spoken and visual art.
Words stumbled out as I searched my heart.
I felt my way around what sounded right—
Descriptions of choices for activity and interaction
Experiences of happiness and peace.
Realizing I had never defined my passion with one of the keys:
Words.
This morning as my spirit awoke,
Its whispers nudged my eyes open
My mind focused on the only reason I get up every day,
And my stiff body ached for what it aches for daily:
Love.
What I was purposed for,
The thing that birthed me and lives in my core.
What was laid down from the Son of Man
As the rule of life: His greatest command.
The one thing I feel I do best
It’s what gives me joy and happiness.
Love is what makes my heart race.
Love is what my tongue longs to taste
It is my strongest desire and most necessary need.
Possessing it lifts me the highest
Losing it gives me the most pain.
Love in all its forms and figures is what I crave:
The lightheadedness, tears of joy when I praise,
Painted butterflies that swim in me when I encounter Him,
Living with conviction that I am loved by the Creator,
That I am continually blessed and highly favored.
Agape Love.
My nieces and nephew: Playing with and watching them grow
Giving thanks for the knowledge that they will someday know.
Leaning on Mama’s shoulder and consuming the love she cooked just for me,
In the peaceful presence of my family.
Storge love.
Creating beauty for someone on screen or on paper,
Seeing the satisfaction for the fruits of my labor.
The tears from eyes that heard my heart speak,
Dancing to love music held cheek-to-cheek.
Giving a gift when it is unexpected,
Discovering his-story and her-story and how we’re connected.
Cooking for appreciative mouths
Hearing the same speak love to me.
Philios love.
The chase, his taste, his warm embrace,
Me at rest on his chest as we drift.
Fuzzy cats that nudge our feet,
A kiss on lips that taste so sweet.
Cute nicknames just for you and me.
Eros Love.
My father’s memory, my aunt’s words and care.
A hug, a caress, fingers run through my hair.
Colors and hues that make my eyes laugh,
Lying on grass watching sunshine and blue skies.
Floating on clouds hand-in-hand so high.
Just Love.
So while words didn’t quite do justice,
My spirit knew all along,
What my passion is:
Love, my heart’s song.
I just came across a GREAT saying that i really liked so I thought I'd share along with my thoughts. Read on if you have time...
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional."
WOW! Think about that. It really had me thinking back on so many times in my life when I've experienced pain and suffering. A death of a loved one, Losing something I cared about. having my heart broken. We tend to think Pain and Suffering go hand in hand. But really suffering is a choice. When things aren't going our way or as good as we hoped or expected, it's so easy to slip into the "woe is me" state and have a nice little pity party. Yesterday, at the class session for the mentoring program I volunteer at, the topic of discussion was "goal setting". All the kids talked about were money, big houses, going to college to get a good job so you can make lots of money, and making big money. Oh, one of them mentioned "a nice family". Nobody even brought up goals like being more healthy, being more organized, not procrastinating, learning a new thing like playing an instrument, reading more, losing weight, being more considerate of others, communicating more with family members, or any of the more intangible goals we start to think about as we get older.
I know they are young so all that's on their minds are the gains and spoils. But often when we, as adults, don't achieve certain goals for ourselves (especially when we're very driven and aggressive), we feel pain -- sadness that we haven't had success or achieved something we wanted to do. We're so critical of ourselves. Then comes the suffering. But one of the points in our discussion yesterday was to "welcome failure". I thought... man, that sounds stupid! I never welcome failure. To me, failure is not an option! But it makes sense to me now... when you stare Failure in the face, put up your dukes and say "I ain't scurred of you.... C'mon, Cletus! You walkin' down, but you limpin' back!" You empower yourself over failure. And if you do fail, you learn from your mistakes and know how to do it the right way: what to change about your approach and how to reach your goal successfully in the next round.
We all hit brick walls from time to time. But don't give in to failure or suffering. Take it by the horns and do a dance! Job was in major pain. But he praised his way through the suffering: He said (30:18) "In his great power God becomes like clothing to me; he binds me like the neck of my garment." Job didn't' give in to suffering. He went through hell, but he sho-nuff got to Heaven with ease and was blessed more abundantly than he could ever imagine after he made it through.
I know it's cheesy to say "when you get lemons, make lemonade!" but it's true. Turn your situation around and dig in and find something positive: "Let your enemy be your footstool." Step over failure and suffering, build a bridge, and GET OVER IT. Not saying to forget, but truly examine your actions, review your goals, and press on. You'll get there no matter what you go through. Positivity and optimism cost you nothing and people will want to be around you and help you more when you have a good attitude. Don't try to do everything alone. When someone reaches out to you, reach back. Be willing to listen to advice. At the same time, don't let the haters steal your joy (and somebody reading this knows I'm talking to them!). My dad used to tell me, "There will always be someone better than you and smarter than you, and someone trying to tear you down." Brush your shoulders off and move on. No one can get to you unless you give them the opportunity. Don't!
A good friend recently told me: "No pain, no gain. No gain, no glory." I had never heard that second part about glory. Everyone in the "TO" box of this email is destined for Glory. I've already claimed it for you, so be aware that there will be pain in your life - some times more than others. But suffering is optional!
