Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Congratulations, Obama Family

He told us "YES WE CAN" and I'm happy to say "YES, WE DID!" I am speechless... almost. I don't know how to truly express what i am feeling today. Last night was emotionally draining but one of the most exciting nights of my life. I haven't been so nervous since my wedding day. I am overwhelmed with joy and pride and excitement and relief.

The photos and videos of people celebrating Obama all over the world are so poignant and powerful. How wonderful. I wonder if any other election candidate in our history has garnered this type of international support. I am inspired and recharged.

In my eyes, the world is a more beautiful place today, and I’ve never felt so patriotic before. The energy from last night is still flowing and it touches me – I see people in their cars driving by who are happy, I hear people talking about it in the stores, and they are joyous and can’t wait to celebrate more. I am so proud of US. It is amazing what we can do when we work as a team. Even though we have a long, rough road still ahead of us and each of us are going through in our own way, I have let out a little sigh of release and I’m hopeful for what is to come.

No weapon formed against us shall prosper.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008


November 4, 2008 - Election Day.

Tomorrow, Barrack Obama could be the first black President Elect of the United States. I'm thinking about how awesome it would be for a young African American or child “of color” to grow up in an era when the president looks like him or her. What a testament it will be to Black boys and girls everywhere that they can truly grow up to be anything they want to be! When I grew up as a biracial (Asian and Black) kid in the deep south during the 70s and 80s, there were no minorities in any leadership position. I assumed the president had to be a white male. I never gave politics a thought, as it was so far removed from my realm of possibilities. At least, that is what I believed.

With everything going on in the world right now: war, global warming, constant natural disasters, recession, etc., I've wondered if I would want to bring a child into this mad, scary world. I thought to myself, what kind of world is this for a kid? So many more pressures and stress on young people now than ever before. But I would love for my child to grow up in a time such as this, assuming Obama wins. I hope my child gets the opportunity to know that a person of any ethnicity can live in the White house; that a member of the minority can lead an entire country even though he was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth. I pray that my child will know this, whether it be from seeing Obama in office, or from seeing some other minority in a powerful public office.

I had the pleasure of meeting Barrack Obama back in 2005 in Chicago's O’Hare Airport. I was there for Fourth of July weekend with some girlfriends, and Obama was on our flight. My friend recognized him and knew who he was; however, I did not. After we deplaned, she raced to catch up with him and asked if he would take a photo with her, and he graciously obliged. I, unfortunately, did not join in the photo, as I was never one to be "star-struck", and I certainly had no idea he would soon be a candidate for the President of the United States. How I wish I had taken a photo with him! Even if he does not win the election, I admire Barrack Obama so much. He is a hero for so many and represents what so many civil rights leaders fought for. He has run his campaign with a class and dignity that is uncommon among candidates for this office. He has shown his intelligence and caring for this nation and is a testament that you can achieve even the loftiest dreams. I would've liked to have that photo to tell my child about the black man who is or who could have and should have been our president.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Reinventing Myself

I feel like I've been in a bit of a rut lately. I don't know if it's just being on the edge of depression from all the issues I've been having: having a house for sale for 1.5+ years, health and hormone problems, family issues, work pressures, having a husband who is perpetually traveling therefore making me feel alone a lot of the time, and just the general stresses of dealing with daily life. I feel like I never have enough time in the day and am always behind.

I realize some of this is self-inflicted, and I probably worry more than I should. I've always said there is no point in worrying about things you cannot control, but I've never felt so out of control in my life. I've had hardships and dealt with problems before -- practically all of the same ones at one time or another. Just never ALL at the SAME TIME. I am holding it together but sometimes I feel it's just by a string that could snap at any time.

I'm sure I'm not alone, and everyone -- every woman, especially women who own/run their own business, and like me, run several businesses -- go through periods where they feel they can just barely hold on. I realize that things could be much worse, and that I am blessed beyond what I deserve: I have a comfortable home, a loving husband and family, great friends, and I have never wanted for anything I need. I have always felt God's favor in my life, but lately I feel somewhat disconnected. I feel He's trying to speak to me, but there's so much "stuff" in my head that it keeps me from hearing Him clearly. The frustration that comes with it only snowballs with the stress and confusion.

I know that God always steps in right on time, as He's proven that over and over in my life. I did actually sell two real estate properties just before this current "crash". We did resolve the recent family issues . He blessed my husband with a much better, higher paying job that the one he was laid off from. [Hubby is so happy there!] While some of my businesses are doing terrible, one is thriving. I got through surgery and a blood transfusion was pretty back to normally within about 48 hours after hemorraging for 10 days and feeling like I was going to die. I really have nothing to complain about. I've just gotta work through this time, and get rid of the negativity in my mind, and get my spirit back in line so I can hear God's whispers.

So, I've decided to work on ME right now. I've decided it's time to reinvent myself, in a matter of speaking. Actually, it's more like getting back to the real me. I've done it before when I've become out of sorts, and I think it's one of those periods when God is trying to move me into a new chapter of my life. I can always feel it coming now.

I've floundered with whether or not to finish a second degree I started in a new industry. I feel sometimes that graphic design is not where I want to or should be. I wonder sometimes if I'm doing all I can to help people, to help the earth, to be a good friend and wife and daughter and sister. I can't help but always think I need to do more, better, faster. All of these thoughts have lodged in my subconscious and make me doubt myself. So, it's time I figure it all out.

Where do I start? I'm reading more, meditating and praying more, and listening more and not talk so much. I'm trying to stay focused and not let stress and anger run me crazy when things don't go my way. I'm not watching the news so much with all the depressing stock market and economic fall-out going on. I'm trying to find things that make me laugh more, and I find I can talk to my dog and he smiles at me. I'm exploring universities in the area to see how I feel about finishing up this second BA in Interior Design. It's not the answer, but it's a start.

With this reinvention, I've decided to rename my Blog. So this is me... Today. I'll keep you posted on who I am tomorrow... or the next day. Or whenever I get back to ya'll. If you're feeling me on this thing, please let me know how you're coping or what you did to reinvent you. PB&J.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

To Get Pregnant, Or Not to Get Pregnant... That is the Question

SIGH. Some days I want to have kids. Some days I'm not so sure. I turn 35 this month: the age at which you become "at risk" for problems with giving birth according to the GYN's. We haven't even been married for a year but everyone's bugging us about having babies. I guess I have a combination of issues that make me unsure about having kids.

I wonder if I'm too selfish because I so enjoy having "me" time or "us" time with just my husband and myself. He travels so much that I cherish our weekends and look forward to going to movies or out to dinner or just doing whatever fun things we want to do. I know that those things all change once a baby comes.

I know that with Hubby traveling, I'd be taking care of the child myself a lot. Can i handle that? I don't know.

I also worry that I don't have the patience for a child. I love my 8 nieces and nephews but sometimes the noise and "work" of it all makes it hard to enjoy them. Perhaps I'm so used to just being alone with peace and quiet that my nerves are too easily rattled.

Am I over-thinking this? I do want kids. I just want to be prepared - mentally, physically and financially. But I wonder if that will ever be the case. Insights anyone???

Monday, May 19, 2008

Janet Brings the Rhythm Nation to Ellen Degeneres Show


I JUST watched Janet Jackson perform "Rhythm Nation" on the Ellen Degeneres show. Three words: Fab. Yoo. Lis!


At 40+ years old, Janet is an inspiration. While cosmetically enhanced, she still looks gorgeous. But even more than that, she's still got the moves. The precision of each step and motion of every finger and toe amazes me. Add that to the fact that she still can breathe enough to sing along with the track (you know she never sings totally "live") adds even more awe to her already awesome-ness. The routine was very Michael-esque, but still, nobody can pop-lock like Janet except Rerun from What's Happenin', and I'm positive that he can't even do it anymore.




I just had to sound off with a BIG BIG UPS to Janet. You look fabulis, gurl. You make me want to go back like bucket seats and pull out my all-black outfit with the black baseball cap and big hoop earrings and run to Great Clips and get a curly perm.

An Awesome Church in Atlanta!

Destiny Metropolitan Worship Church in Marrietta, GA, is where I've been attending service for about 8 months now. I have to thank "Leon" who suggested it to me on this blog. It's non-denominational but reminds me in many ways of my Baptist church back home in Virginia. The church is fairly young - a lot of 20- and 30-somethings. You can dress as you want (within reason) from jeans to suits. It's well-organized and well-run, and the church is doing a lot to help the community and surrounding Atlanta area.

The fact that it's non-denominational is actually a plus to me. I'm all for corporate worship but not so much for "organized religion" if that makes any sense. I like that the church welcomes all people regardless of race, color, or denomination, and that the pastor simply tries to teach as accurately as he can from the Bible. It's straight and to the point... not the mention the music is amazing. They sing a lot of my fav's -- especially Fred Hammond. And they bring the house down, too.

Anyway, if anyone is interested in getting their praise on and getting some serious Bible lessons, check out Pastor Crute at Destiny. Here's there website. There's a link to some of the music and lots of other info, including their schedule of services. Hope to see you there! God bless.

http://destinymetro.org/

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Where do the birds go...

... when there is a terrible storm?

With all the tornados we've had lately in the Southeast, I wonder where all the birds seek shelter? They come right back out after the storm has passed, just as they were chirping loudly enough to wake me up this morning. I picture them finding abandoned buildings and huddling together to stay warm, perhaps even singing around a fire. But seriously, where do the tens of thousands of birds go when there's a tornado or hurricane and the storm covers hundreds of square miles? Does anyone know??

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Hoda and Kathy Lee Not Hoding it Down

Yeah, I know I spoke on how happy I was that Hoda Kotb joined the Today Show's weekly crew but this 10am (EST) hour with she and Kathy Lee are tearing me apart. My schedule is all messed up now. From 7 to 9am, BBC gives me the world news. And normally I'd get all my local weather, style and beauty news, and learn some new stuff from my peeples on Today Show. But the emptiness that fills this gossippy hour with Hoda and Kathy Lee just ain't right. Sorry to say it but I can't watch any longer. I know it's something new and I figured it would take a minute for them to find their "groove" but it's getting worse day by day. In my opinion, this hour of thoughtlessness marked by no more news is really bringing down the credibility of Today Show. I wasn't surprised at Kathy Lee because I was never a big fan. But, Hoda, is that really you?

Sorry, Hoda. I gotta move on. Glad they moved up the reruns of Living Single.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Promises... Resolutions to Change the World

My husband and I just returned from a glorious trip to Europe. We spent 10 days between London, England, and Mallorca, Spain. I'd been to London several times and it is still raining and gloomy but we had fun visiting tourist sites via "The BIG Bus Company." We visited the London Dungeons, a haunted house of sorts; The London Eye, the largest ferris wheel in the world that lets you view the landscape for I don't know how many miles (it takes over 30 minutes just to revolve 1 time); and Madame Tussaud's wax museum where we got to take photos with faux likenesses of some of our favorites: Samuel Jackson, Morgan Freeman, Martin Luther King, Jr., and The Rock.

Mallorca, Spain is where I renewed my spirit though. The weather was perfect - mid 70's and sunny every day and low humidity. The sun seemed to always be shining, even at night. Gorgeous sunsets, and turquoise Mediterranean water surrounded us daily. I could live there eeeasily. We ate, we shopped, we even had a day trip on a yacht complete with lobster, shrimp, salmon and Thai Chicken curry. It was like a beautiful dream. I counted how truly blessed we are to be able to experience something so wonderful -- to be floating in the sea with nothing but the wind pulling us and being able to just relax and enjoy. The rock formations of the mountains, the open ocean, the sandy beaches: sights that much of the earth's population never get to witness.

We were blessed by my brother in law, B, who arranged the trip to Spain in celebration of my sister's (his wife's) birthday. He arranged the flights, the hotel, the yacht, and our dinners in the evening.

While there, we were surrounded by people who had money - my sisters' and B's friends who had come along to celebrate. Money was easily thrown around on cigars, countless bottles of wine and more food than any of us could put away. The sensational stories that were told of trips to the south of France, Thailand, other parts of Spain, Greece, and wherever else you can imagine were common conversation. While it was inspirational and lead me to dream of future exploits, I was reminded again of the excessive lives we live. I had lately had these thoughts as I'm going through self-exploration, that we truly don't need all the things I have, nor do I need most of the things I want. We could live much more cheaply and save more.

Don't get me wrong... I would travel the world and eat fine cuisine, drink fine wines, and shop 'til my luggage exceeded the weight limit... IF I had it like that. But with the economic times being what they are, that is not an option, nor would it be prudent even if funds were of no object. Aside from the political mess going on in the U.S., we face a global fight to save the environment, which in the scheme of things, is way more important than the economy or the face we see in the White House.

I haven't been everywhere, but it seems to me that the U.S. is one of the most wasteful countries. We also seem to not respect our rivers and streams or even our neighborhood streets. We throw litter wherever it's convenient (especially in the lower-income neighborhoods), rather than waiting to see the next garbage can. We use enough plastic to make a 20 oz cup and more cardboard than a jewelry box to package a half-ounce, 1-inch square memory card. Trucks have to pick up our grass clippings and yard waste on a weekly basis, and we leave water running like it is worth nothing. We are dying from cancer and viruses, our water is becoming undrinkable, and now even drinking from plastic water bottles can cause health problems.

So upon our return, Hubby and I made some promises. I want to record them so that I can ensure we stick to them. We want to do our part to help Mother Earth renew and repair, so that she will take care of our children and our children's children when it is time. Here is our list to help conserve resources, which in turn will also save money...

  1. Use less chemicals. This includes using more user-friendly cleaning chemicals, but also using less of the things that pollute our water, like shampoos, conditioner, soaps, etc.
  2. Recycle more. We already participate in the county's recycling program but we're going to be better about putting everything that can be recycled in the correct bin -- this will entail putting recycle bins in other parts of the house and not just the kitchen.
  3. Don't leave water running unnecessarily, such as when brushing teeth or washing faces, dishes, etc.
  4. Only run the dishwasher and clothes washer when it is full.
  5. Donate more. Rather than just "trash it", give it to charity where someone else may be able to use it. And you get tax write offs!
  6. Turn off unnecessary lights and don't pump the A/C or Heat so much. We already do this for the most part, but there's always room for improvement.
  7. Switch to fluorescent bulbs wherever possible. We've done this already.
  8. Turn off computers, monitors, game consoles, cable boxes, TV's and any other electronics when not in use, and especially at night.
  9. Use less toilet paper and paper towels. You just don't need so much. Especially out in public where the tendency is to use big wads of it.
Please feel free to help me add to the list! We're open to ideas on how we can better conserve and make the world a better, cleaner place.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Life in 2008

WOW! Another year has passed on. I have mixed feelings when I look back on 2007. It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times. I went through some CHANGES, man! SO much has happened in just the last year of my life: getting engaged, moving to another state (UGH), having major surgery (Thank you, Jesus!), putting 2 houses up for sale (Lord, please let them sell soon!), getting married (I's married now!), buying a new house, moving again, spending our first holidays as man and wife, getting a dog.... just adapting has been so crazy. I can't say it's all been a walk in the park but it's all been blessings. I'm thankful that things are settling down and we're getting into a routine.

Every so many years, I seem to go through some major change - whether its of my choice or not. Right now, I'm going through one of those periods so my mind is a bit clouded and I have so much in me wanting to come out but I don't quite know what to write about. There are so many major issues affecting my life right now that I could discuss - marriage, the bad economy, the real estate slump, the presidential candidates, how to potty train a puppy... things my husband and I discuss on a daily basis. But I'm sure you've heard it all before.

Lately, I've been reflecting on my life - where I am, where I'm going. At 34, I look back and am proud of my accomplishments. But I'm still now where I thought I would be. My husband says I'm too hard on myself. We are always our own worst critic. But what would life be if you just stopped and were content where you are? I was not raised to be happy where I am -- I was raised to always strive for better, to continually be learning, to push for the next level. I am a hustler.

Merriam Webster's dictionary has twenty definitions for the word "life." The one I like most is:

#4: spiritual existence transcending physical death

I am still alive -- I am in a state where I am transcending physical death. My mind and spirit is not yet sleeping. So, I can't stop moving forward. I have to motivate myself to push on. This hasn't been easy lately, so I've decided to do something that psychologists, therapists and counselors have said for ages: affirm yourself. So, here I will share with you my affirmations. I wrote these all within about 10 minutes. They are not only beliefs I have of myself, but desires for myself -- goals. I did this many years ago and I believe it does help if you're in the midst of needing a push or a mental nudge to get you going. Try it for yourself for a week or two -- read your list daily, and see if it doesn't make a difference. Feel free to help me add to my list. Happy Belated New Year! Peace & Blessings!

Daily Affirmation

I am…
Intelligent
Brilliant
Artistic
A loving wife
A wonderful designer
A great friend
A good sister and daughter
A great aunt
Fun
Beautiful
Lovable
Happy
Polite
Successful
Healthy
In shape
Stylish
Spiritual
Loving
Generous
Caring
Ambitious
Growing
Learning
Desirable
Witty
Clever
Ingenious
Honest
Faithful
Grateful
Blessed and highly favored
Organized
In balance
At peace
Energetic
Diligent

I want to…
Have a joyous and peaceful family life
Be a highly desired, successful Designer
Live near or on the ocean
Have freedom to work when I want to – to choose my clients instead of them choosing me
Have a safe and healthy family
Have great, true friends
Be out of debt
Be comfortably wealthy
Give back to my community
Help people in need
Make a difference
Continually educate myself
Travel to a new place at least once a year
Live to see the next generation’s children