To Get Pregnant, Or Not to Get Pregnant... That is the Question

SIGH. Some days I want to have kids. Some days I'm not so sure. I turn 35 this month: the age at which you become "at risk" for problems with giving birth according to the GYN's. We haven't even been married for a year but everyone's bugging us about having babies. I guess I have a combination of issues that make me unsure about having kids.

I wonder if I'm too selfish because I so enjoy having "me" time or "us" time with just my husband and myself. He travels so much that I cherish our weekends and look forward to going to movies or out to dinner or just doing whatever fun things we want to do. I know that those things all change once a baby comes.

I know that with Hubby traveling, I'd be taking care of the child myself a lot. Can i handle that? I don't know.

I also worry that I don't have the patience for a child. I love my 8 nieces and nephews but sometimes the noise and "work" of it all makes it hard to enjoy them. Perhaps I'm so used to just being alone with peace and quiet that my nerves are too easily rattled.

Am I over-thinking this? I do want kids. I just want to be prepared - mentally, physically and financially. But I wonder if that will ever be the case. Insights anyone???

Promises... Resolutions to Change the World

My husband and I just returned from a glorious trip to Europe. We spent 10 days between London, England, and Mallorca, Spain. I'd been to London several times and it is still raining and gloomy but we had fun visiting tourist sites via "The BIG Bus Company." We visited the London Dungeons, a haunted house of sorts; The London Eye, the largest ferris wheel in the world that lets you view the landscape for I don't know how many miles (it takes over 30 minutes just to revolve 1 time); and Madame Tussaud's wax museum where we got to take photos with faux likenesses of some of our favorites: Samuel Jackson, Morgan Freeman, Martin Luther King, Jr., and The Rock.

Mallorca, Spain is where I renewed my spirit though. The weather was perfect - mid 70's and sunny every day and low humidity. The sun seemed to always be shining, even at night. Gorgeous sunsets, and turquoise Mediterranean water surrounded us daily. I could live there eeeasily. We ate, we shopped, we even had a day trip on a yacht complete with lobster, shrimp, salmon and Thai Chicken curry. It was like a beautiful dream. I counted how truly blessed we are to be able to experience something so wonderful -- to be floating in the sea with nothing but the wind pulling us and being able to just relax and enjoy. The rock formations of the mountains, the open ocean, the sandy beaches: sights that much of the earth's population never get to witness.

We were blessed by my brother in law, B, who arranged the trip to Spain in celebration of my sister's (his wife's) birthday. He arranged the flights, the hotel, the yacht, and our dinners in the evening.

While there, we were surrounded by people who had money - my sisters' and B's friends who had come along to celebrate. Money was easily thrown around on cigars, countless bottles of wine and more food than any of us could put away. The sensational stories that were told of trips to the south of France, Thailand, other parts of Spain, Greece, and wherever else you can imagine were common conversation. While it was inspirational and lead me to dream of future exploits, I was reminded again of the excessive lives we live. I had lately had these thoughts as I'm going through self-exploration, that we truly don't need all the things I have, nor do I need most of the things I want. We could live much more cheaply and save more.

Don't get me wrong... I would travel the world and eat fine cuisine, drink fine wines, and shop 'til my luggage exceeded the weight limit... IF I had it like that. But with the economic times being what they are, that is not an option, nor would it be prudent even if funds were of no object. Aside from the political mess going on in the U.S., we face a global fight to save the environment, which in the scheme of things, is way more important than the economy or the face we see in the White House.

I haven't been everywhere, but it seems to me that the U.S. is one of the most wasteful countries. We also seem to not respect our rivers and streams or even our neighborhood streets. We throw litter wherever it's convenient (especially in the lower-income neighborhoods), rather than waiting to see the next garbage can. We use enough plastic to make a 20 oz cup and more cardboard than a jewelry box to package a half-ounce, 1-inch square memory card. Trucks have to pick up our grass clippings and yard waste on a weekly basis, and we leave water running like it is worth nothing. We are dying from cancer and viruses, our water is becoming undrinkable, and now even drinking from plastic water bottles can cause health problems.

So upon our return, Hubby and I made some promises. I want to record them so that I can ensure we stick to them. We want to do our part to help Mother Earth renew and repair, so that she will take care of our children and our children's children when it is time. Here is our list to help conserve resources, which in turn will also save money...

1. Use less chemicals. This includes using more user-friendly cleaning chemicals, but also using less of the things that pollute our water, like shampoos, conditioner, soaps, etc.
2. Recycle more. We already participate in the county's recycling program but we're going to be better about putting everything that can be recycled in the correct bin -- this will entail putting recycle bins in other parts of the house and not just the kitchen.
3. Don't leave water running unnecessarily, such as when brushing teeth or washing faces, dishes, etc.
4. Only run the dishwasher and clothes washer when it is full.
5. Donate more. Rather than just "trash it", give it to charity where someone else may be able to use it. And you get tax write offs!
6. Turn off unnecessary lights and don't pump the A/C or Heat so much. We already do this for the most part, but there's always room for improvement.
7. Switch to fluorescent bulbs wherever possible. We've done this already.
8. Turn off computers, monitors, game consoles, cable boxes, TV's and any other electronics when not in use, and especially at night.
9. Use less toilet paper and paper towels. You just don't need so much. Especially out in public where the tendency is to use big wads of it.

Please feel free to help me add to the list! We're open to ideas on how we can better conserve and make the world a better, cleaner place.

Don't Keep "The Secret"

By now, unless you live in a cave and have never heard of Oprah Winfrey, you've heard about "The Secret: The Law of Attraction". I watched it with my fiancee and we've been talking about it ever since.

The basic principle in "The Secret" is that whatever you give your energy to, that is what you will attract - whether negative or positive. If you're visualizing and saying "I'm broke" then you will continue to be broke. If you visualize and say, "I am wonderful and lovable" then that is what you will attract. It's basic stuff that I've known for years but it's been packaged in a different way. It's truly a combination of things that Oprah's been teaching for years. Some of it sounds exactly like some of her main concepts she shared in her Live Your Best Life Ever Tour. Oddly though, Oprah seems to have had no part in the making of this video, but thanks to her, it's an international phenomenon.

We've always heard about karma and "you get out what you put in," or "dress the part," or "if you can believe it, you can achieve it". That's basically what this is all about. There's a bit of scientific stuff thrown in to make it seem more real, but the bottom line is, you gotta have faith. "The Secret" is all about teaching you to believe in yourself and have faith in your abilities to achieve whatever you can dream of and KNOW that the universe, the Spirits, GOD (or whatever you call your higher being) are all in cahoots to help you if you put your mind and energy to it.

There are some things about "The Secret" that are alittle difficult to grasp but we've put it to the test with something as simple visualizing and believing we'd find a good parking space at an overcrowded mall. We spoke it and visualized it and in seconds a space two spots down from the Handicapped spaces right in front of the entrance.

It's all about positive thinking and learning to channel your energies toward the wonderful dreams you have in life. Envision yourself living in peace and health, with joy, with wealth, with a happy family and the career you've always wanted. Envision the home you've always wanted. See the man/woman of your dreams. Daydream about those things. Collect pictures that represent those things and look at them daily. See it NOW and don't look towards the distant future and most importantly, stop focusing on the past. Stop using excuses of "family curses" and "how much [you've] been through." There's enough peace, joy and prosperity for everyone. Stop thinking in terms of "lack" or "not enough to go around."

So, if for nothing else but to satisfy your curiosity, take an hour and 20 minutes and watch this thing if you can get your hands on it. Unfortunately, it's been removed from YouTube. Listen intently and allow your mind to be open. I hope this inspires or helps someone. Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with "The Secret". Peace and blessings.

Does it Help You if I Wear Red?

So today is National Wear Red Day in support of awareness for Women and Heart Disease - our #1 killer (of men, too). So, I might put on some red this afternoon when I have to go out... it happens to be one of my favorite colors and I look pretty good in it, too. I've done the "wear black in support of...." this or "wear white in support of..." that, but I must come out of the color clothing closet and admit that I don't get it. Same with the little ribbons on my lapel, which I've had several of.

I'm curious. Has anyone out there decided to get their blood pressure checked or took time to research heart disease because they saw people wearing red? Were any of the other "wear some color to support [yada yada yada]" days helpful in anyway? Did seeing a little pink ribbon on some one's lapel remind you to do your breast self-exam or go get a mammogram? I thought that the little ribbons would at least open up dialogue and give me an opportunity to tell someone what it's about, but no one's ever asked me to explain.

I'm not saying it's a bad idea and I have nothing against people taking a stand to collectively observe an issue. I'd just really like to know if my wardrobe choice is really doing something positive for someone's - anyone's - health. Please let me know. Thanks!