Matrimonial Chronicles, Volume 1

I's married now! Yup, it's been 3 full months. "How does it feel?" people ask me. Honestly, not much different than before. We "shacked up" for a couple months before the wedding. I knew most of his habits, so I was prepared. We're good at accepting each other the way we are.. ok, HE is good at it. I think I need more patience and work. But I'm getting there and learning to choose my battles. But overall, marriage is suiting me just fine, and I'm diggin' it so far. Ask me again next year this time.

I'm starting these "Matrimonial Chronicles" to share my thoughts, observations, and challenges with being married. This week, I face one of my more... oh, what's the word... let's say more interesting challenges, for lack of a better word.

Hubby's parents are coming for their first visit. Well, the father came as a "surprise" a couple weeks after we got married before we moved to our new home but that was just for a couple hours. This time, the parents are both coming for an overnight visit and we're still unpacking from our move last week. I've never entertained them in "my space" before, nor have I ever cooked for them. I don't know why this is alittle unnerving for me, but it is. I feel as if I will be judged -- Am I keeping the home clean? Am I taking good care of their son? Cooking well-rounded meals.

I want to laugh at myself. I'm a great wife and treat Hubby with respect and loving kindness. I make dinner most of the time and have it waiting when he gets home. I send him off to work with a home-made lunch whenever possible. I keep a tidy house and i can't help it if we just moved in and things are still in disarray. Right? These people love me already... I have nothing to worry about. But I am... alittle bit. How will I get everything unpacked and put away on time? Should I hire a cleaning service to help before they get here? What do I cook? Do I go get a Costco rotisserie chicken and chocolate chip cookies and pass them off as my own and just make a few sides? LOL. OK, a tad extreme -- I know. It'll be interesting, I'm sure. I'll keep you "posted".

So Very Thankful

A wonderful thing happened to me the other day. I gave someone $10. I pretty much never tell anyone when I give to charity. It just makes me feel better when I give in private -- I believe there's something about that in the Bible, too, about giving when no one sees you. I've given to many a homeless person on the street -- sometimes when I've been walking or sometimes at an intersection when they come up to my window -- mainly if they seem to really need it (no Jordans on their feet!) and don't have alcohol on their breath. I don't do it every time but more times than I can remember, I've given a dollar or two.


But this was different.


Lately, I had been feeling like I was losing touch with God. I had also been feeling like nothing good was happening to me and everything seemed so tough -- relationships with family and friends, selling my homes in DC, my hair had been falling out like crazy, and everything was stressing me. I hadn't been giving my time to prayer and meditation and had become obsessed with finding a new house for us and selling off some of my other properties in DC. I was getting discouraged because in a sluggish market that's supposed to belong to the buyer's right now, we had put 3 offers on houses and didn't get a contract yet. All three were houses we would've loved to live in but it just seemed that nothing was working out. I began to feel like God was mad at me for not giving him the time and attention he deserves -- although I could never give Him enough and certainly as much as He deserves!

Since I gave my life to Christ in 1996, I always felt God's hand on me. Things seemed to come to me so easily -- opportunities, jobs, the increase and prosperity. I'd always had friends and people around who loved me and wanted to spend time with me. But lately, I'd become discouraged increasingly negative and on Tuesday morning, after we lost another house we'd made an offer on. I told Hubby that I needed to get my spirit right because I was feeling disconnected from God. Like His favor wasn't there the way it used to be. Things had been so challenging for the last several months and nothing seemed to be falling into place.


After Hubby went to work, I was cleaning up and getting ready for the day and just dropped to my knees by the bed and prayed.... hard. I asked God for direction and wisdom. I told Him, I knew it was His will that we didn't get the last house or the houses we'd bid on before, and I asked Him to give me a clear sign when the house He did want for us came along. "Let me be able to know that it's what You want for us and where You want us to be."


Well, on Tuesday afternoon, I happened to be doing my usual online house search and by accident, a home popped up in an area that we'd not even considered. It was priced alittle higher than our price range, but looked really nice in the photos. I sent the listing to our realtor and asked him about it. He said it's a good area and that he could show it to us on Thursday evening. Later that day the hubby and I drove out to the area and checked it out. We were really digging it, but what were the chances the sellers would come down on the price to our limit?

On Wednesday, the hubby found out he was going to Australia for work and had to leave Friday night. Therefore, the rest of the week was going to require that he work late to finish the work on the current project. When Thursday rolled around, he tried, but was unable to get off early enough from work to come with me to see the house.

Before I even walked in, our realtor said, "[Hubby] would love this." And when I entered, I knew he was right. And I loved it too. I took tons of photos, but as I went around I realized this house had everything we really needed and a lot of nice-to-haves that we didn't expect... more than we asked for. My first sign was that the previous owners had left some beautiful Asian artwork on the wall when you first enter. Well, if you didn't know, I'm half Asian. I collect a lot of Asian home furnishings too, so of course I was feeling it. The second sign was that the house was painted in the colors I had wanted to decorate my next home in, and we would have very little editing of colors to do. This included ALL the rooms - even the master bath and bedroom.

Next I went upstairs. A symbol that has been permeating my life for the last couple years that I feel represents the hubby and I are palm trees. I love them. They make me feel at peace and remind me of vacation (see entry on wanting to live near a body of water) and how much we love to travel, which has been a passion of both Hubby and mine for years. He and I have traveled almost exclusively to tropical places in the last 2 years - we met in Vegas, cruised in the Bahamas, the Virgin Islands, Hawaii, and our honeymoon was in Thailand. For our wedding, the symbol we used on our invitations, gifts and souvenirs was a pair of palm trees, and we had 20 palm trees brought in for our rehearsal dinner and palm trees surrounded our ceremony and reception on the beach in Alabama.

Well, would you believe I walk into the bonus room upstairs and there are two floor-to-ceiling palm trees painted on the walls along with a mural of the world map? I know that couldn't be anything but GOD. That was Thursday evening.

Fast forward less than 24 hours later. On Friday, around 6pm, just after the hubby left for the airport, we were officially under contract for the house at $5,000 UNDER our price limit. More than we asked for! God is amazing.

The next day is when I ran into this man at the post office. He was terribly smelly and in need of a bath, clothing and as I would find out later, food. He was also a bit mentally and physically handicapped -- perhaps a victim of a stroke. He came in as I was standing in line and loudly yelled, "Good afternoon". I quietly said, "Hi," but he repeated himself boldly even with his slurred speech..."GOOD AFTERNOON!" Finally, everyone turned and looked at him and the postal workers behind the counter looked up and said, "May we help you, sir?" The man then asked, "Anything I can do for a few dollars? Can I do some work or something?" And he was answered with a resounding, "No, not today." Perhaps this man has done this before, I thought. He went on his way and left.

I next went to the nearby grocery store for a few things. When I walked in the gourmet food area, I see the same man sitting on a motorized wheelchair-cart staring into the glass case where the hot food (fried chicken, mashed potatoes, mac-n-cheese, etc.) is. He was just staring... longingly staring. I pretended to look at some cheeses in the nearby cold case but watched out of the corner of my eye as the man from behind the counter came over and put on his plastic gloves, opened the case and took out a hot chicken wing. He then walked around to the man and handed it to him. The man devoured it.

Wow, I thought. That worker probably only makes a bit more than minimum wage and just risked his job to give a hungry man a chicken wing. Had a supervisor seen him, he'd probably be in deep trouble. I immediately looked in my wallet to find that the smallest bill I had was a $10. Oh well, I thought... maybe I'll get change after I buy my groceries and see if he's still around. So I walked on.

I then walked through the little Starbucks Coffee stand which was there inside the store and a beautiful silver holiday mug caught my eye. I turned it over. $8.95. I started to put it in my basket, and thought, "What the hell am I doing?" I can put a mug that would cost $10 with tax in my basket, but I can't give a hungry man money because I don't have smaller bills? AND my husband and I were just blessed with a new home worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, and God still gave us the gift and ability to carry my other mortgages for my houses in Maryland and Virginia until thye sell. Where is my heart? Where are my priorities? What is wrong with me?

I immediately put the mug back on the shelf and turned on my heels to head back to that man in the hot foot section, and if I didn't find him there, I was going to hunt him down. He was still there and I marched right up to him and said, "Sir?" and he turned to me, and I just handed him the $10 bill and without thinking said, "God blessed you." And with the most sincerity, he looked right into my eyes and said, "Thank you." In actuality, God blessed me right then. More than I asked for.

The next day, I found a church I absolutely love where I think I will really feel at home, and it's not far from the new house. Then I went to lunch with a new friend in Atlanta -- two things I had been praying SO hard for! We go to settlement on the house next week -- just two weeks after first seeing it! This week, the sellers are fixing all the things we asked them to fix after the home was inspected. More than we asked for.

What I learned (and really already knew) and what I believe...

1. Changing the world starts with one small random act of kindness.
2. Whatever you give with a pure heart, will come back to you ten or even a hundred-fold. And if ask for anything in His name, He hears you. Maybe not in the time that you want it, but when the time is right, He'll answer.
3. Stay in His favor and keep the faith through the rough spots, and He will give you more than you ask for.

Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, God.

Argh! I've been Tagged!! Seven random facts...

Tag I am it! My girl, Butta, has tagged me, so here are the rules...

A). Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.

B). Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.

C). Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.

D). Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Seven Random UAin'tNevaLied Facts:

1. I miss dancing like I used to when I was younger. I got $25 for break dancing in a contest when I was in the fifth grade (hammer pants and all) and me and my best friend, Yolanda Smith (where are you, girl?) won 2nd place in a dance contest in the 9th grade. I could get down with the get down back then. Can't move like I used to though. That reminds me, lemme go take my vitamins and a glucosamine supplement.

2. I still want to be famous -- and have wanted that since I was a little kid. Not Whitney Houston famous, but I want to be known for something. I want for people to know my name someday for some reason -- hopefully in the art or design world. Don't ask me what steps I'm taking right now to get there, but someday I want to be consulted as an expert on something on TV or in magazines. I want the Today to have me on as a style consultant or to design their set. I want to be on Oprah and bump Nate out of the box.

3. I miss riding motorcycles. I had two sports bikes between 2001 and 2007 and was quite the speed demon. I totalled my first one and was riding again within a month. I sold my last baby in February of this year. It was kinda hard although I put up a front like it was not a big deal. I felt like part of my youth was going away.

4. I pray my children never go into the military. My father was in the Air force -- a Vietnam Vet. I think being in the military -- especially in wartime -- screws with the mind. Every man that I've met who has been in the military seemed to have some type of psychological issue, mainly the need to be controlling, sometimes extremely controlling. I also think men who have been in a war are often overly paranoid and think someone is constantly out to get them, and feel the need to always have weapons (guns) around them for protection. They seem to think their safety is always under attack.

I know this sounds selfish because I think the military does do a lot of people a world of good. The military fights with their blood and sweat for our freedom (although not in THIS war that's going on right now) but that's what they stand, and I can't be mad at that. But that's just how I feel. I don't want my kids to have to or to want to be in the military.

5. I have a strong desire to live on or be near a body of water. Perhaps because I grew up in walking distance to the Gulf of Mexico. Water just makes me feel peaceful and it has aways put me in awe at God's majesty. I've always been drawn to it. Is it just me?

6. I have corners on my head. The term "box head" was coined after me. Under my hair you can feel two corners on the top left and right sides of my head. Freaks people out. I would look horribly bald. I'd probably get on TV and be famous for that, though!

7. I'm so mixed up. Ethnically, a lot of people think I'm just Black and Thai. Well, those are the main portions. My later father's parents were Black, Spanish, and Native American (my grandpa), and Black, Jewish, and German (grandma). My mother is Thai-Chinese. I think the combination of all those ethnicity's combined pretty damn well, if I do say so myself. I've been telling everyone for years that I'm bi-racial, or checking the "other" box on all the forms when they ask me what I am. I guess I need to correct myself and say I'm "multi-racial".

There it is! So now you know me alittle better. Do we have anything in common or am I just a weirdo? OK, so now I need to tag some others. I don't even know seven bloggers personally so I'll just tag folks I know who haven't already been tagged:

My suga bear: Hi-Fidelity

My girl, the beauty queen: Mischo Beaty

Ya'll are it! Enjoy.

Church in Atlanta, Anyone?

OK, does anyone out there have a good church they can suggest to me in Atlanta? Hubby and I are searching so it's been a different one every other week since I've moved. I'm Baptist and need some good foot-patting, hand-clapping, gospel music. I also need a convicting, tell-it-like-it-chis, bible-based, Holy-Ghost-filled, preach-up-a-storm, pastor. The other thing is I'm not big on mega churches, but I'd be willing to give it a shot. On top of all this, if there's one located anywhere on the North side of ATL, that would be great too, but hey - Have Bible. Will Travel. It doesn't have to be Baptist - I'll do non-denominational. As long as they're worshipping Christ and is Biblically based, i'm cool.

If you want to suggest your church or a church you've visited, I'd love to hear from you! Thanks!

Great Budget Travel Tips

I'm frugal. Not cheap - frugal. I believe even if you have money, why spend it if you don't have to? There are many ways to achieve the same affect or get what you need without spending top dollar. I think this comes from growing up without a lot of money and learning to stretch the funds and still have fun with what we had. My parents believed in saving and never living beyond your means, and that has stuck with me.

My husband and I love to travel. Although I don't do it as much as I'd like these days, I've been to some great places both domestic and international: all up and down the East Coast from Boston to Miami, Alabama to Vegas, Seattle, Chicago, Hawaii, Canada, the Bahamas, US Virgin Islands, Mexico, London, Paris, a few spots in Italy, Spain, Hong Kong, Thailand, China, Indonesia, Japan, and a few others...

After spending 2 weeks in Thailand on our honeymoon and spending very little other than the cost of the airfare, I thought I'd share some of our tips to help you have fun and keep a few more dollars in your pocket so you can do more SHOPPING! Some of them only really apply if you're traveling internationally but most are universal.

1. Book your hotel early and check the hotel's website for special "online only" travel deals. Be aware that some great deals involve not being able to cancel last minute or you have to pay in full at the time of booking, so don't let this be a trip with one of your flaky girlfriends or some guy you recently met who might back out on you. Before you book, call the reservations desk and ask them if they can give you the same price or better.

2. If you're going with your mate, tell them it's your honeymoon (or birthday or anniversary or some celebration) -- they may very likely give you free upgrades or amenities. We paid the special Internet rate for a basic room, and got upgraded to a deluxe suite on the club floor and got a happy honeymoon cake all for free!

3. Don't eat in the hotel's restaurants or restaurants in big tourist spots. They are much more expensive since they cater to tourists. Take a walk a few blocks out of the way. Ask a native for restaurant suggestions. We found great restaurants that had more of the local foods and were way cheaper than the hotel restaurants or touristy spots.

4. Go grocery shopping when you get there. Even if it's at a 7-11 or find a local mini-mart. Get drinks and snacks to keep in the hotel room or carry with you on those day tours or to have on the beach. You'll save lots from using the minibar or ordering food every time you're alittle hungry. And if traveling internationally, you don't want to get caught on a bus tour in the mountains and the only local snack is a boiled egg or some exotic fruit you know nothing about. Granola bars always come in handy!

5. Want a free tour of the island or city and love architecture? Call a realtor and tell him/her you're interested in buying some property there. This is great for getting tours of islands and seeing sights that you can drive by. I love architecture and design, so I find it fun just seeing the types of houses people live in and seeing how they live -- especially in other countries. If it's a beautiful place, you may actually consider someday buying there, so it's not a complete lie! Feel free to buy the realtor lunch if you like -- he's spending his gas on you anyway.

6. If you have the time, take advantage of timeshare presentations to get the freebies. Now, sometimes you just want to be left alone, but spending two hours in a presentation might be worth $200 in meal vouchers or a couple free tours. Just know that the more questions you ask, the longer the presentation will last.

7. Don't purchase tours through the hotel. Look for fliers for the local tour companies in public areas or find tour companies out in the busy touristy areas. The hotel up-charges a lot! And when you find and deal directly with someone at the tour company, you can bargain with them. Many companies sell the same bus tours or boat tours and just take a cut off the top. Make them compete for your business!

Or make your own tour. Sometimes it may be a lot cheaper to just catch a cab or rent scooters or a car, and take your own tour. Instead of paying $100 per person ($200 total) for a bus tour around St. Martin to 3 tourist spots, we rented a scooter for $50 for the day, when to those three places, and drove around the entire island and still had time to shop. We got to go at our own pace and had lunch when we wanted, and got to see much more. Find out where the tour is taking you and what the entry fees are for those locations. Are they just taking you to free spots like the craft factory and scenic overlooks? or are you paying for entry and transportation? Do your research -- you'll be surprised how much you save!

Be safe in your travels and feel free to suggest more budget-friendly travel tips. I'm always happy to learn new ones!

Why Did I Get Married?

Y'all know I loves me some Tyler Perry. The man is truly a talent of this decade. Me 'n Madea go way back -- like bucket seats.

Well, with all the new hype surrounding Tyler Perry's latest motion picture production, Why Did I get Married? (in theatres this weekend) and after watching the Oprah show promoting it, I thought I'd share my own personal thoughts and at the same time give some insight and observation of my first month of marriage.

I have to say the number-one reason I wanted to be married was for the companionship. As I've gotten older, I seem to have fewer and fewer friends. Fewer people I trust, and fewer people I feel I can do things with and really be myself with. I wanted that one person I could rely on and just be ME with and not worry about whether they would still like me or love me if I did something they didn't like. I wanted someone that I could feel safe with, who could hold me when I needed to be held, or share my throughts and life experiences with -- whether good or bad. A spiritual partner. A road dog. A confidant. A best friend. Someone I coulg grow with and who would help me to be a better person. Someone to love me for me. Someone for me to love.

I also wanted someone who would be a good father for my future child(ren) because I do want a family. A guinea pig for my new recipes. Someone with some muscles for when I need some furniture moved around. Someone to take care of the car and take out the garbage. You know - those manly things. LOL.

I thank GOD that I found all those things in my Gushy-bear. He is all those things and much more. I'm not going to go on and on about how wonderful he is and how he constantly tries to be the best man he can be for me. But there are just a few things I want to say to all the looking ladies -- a few things that may tip you off to whether he'll make a good husband or not:

Make sure you find someone who tells you you're beautiful even when you've put on weight, have no make-up on and have morning breath. Make sure he doesn't mind helping with the dishes or washing clothes or cleaning up after you if necessary. Find someone who will pop a pimple for you or just smiles when you make a stinky, instead of shunning you for the funk. If you want kids, see if he doesn't mind babysitting your seven nieces and nephews. Make sure he loves his family as much as you love yours. Make sure he has goals and dreams beyond anything he already has achieved. If you value education, make sure he READS -- and I mean something other than magazines on how to outsmart the latest Playstation game.

BTW, The Why Did I Get Married soundtrack also sounds like a must-have. You can sample it on the website too!

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Saw the movie Friday night. LOVED IT. By far, Tyler's best movie production yet. A couple slow spots and alittle over acting in some areas... maybe alittle too many tears even. But overall, we loved it. This is a definite for the DVD collection! 8.5 of 10 stars!

Happy for Hoda

I just have to say that I'm loving that NBC's Today Show has made Hoda Kotb (what kinda name is that anyway?) a regular news anchor on the weekday show (formerly a weekend anchor).

Along with Matt and Meredith, they've got the black (Al and Lester), Asian (Ann), and Latino (Natalie) demographics all covered. And I must say I'm loving Tiki Barber's becoming a national correspondent as well. Adding Hoda has only impressed me more. She's got a great presence and I love that she's willing to go all out -- even with a nationally televised two-step.

As a long-time Today Show fan, these people have become a part of my breakfast routine so I say, "BIG UPS to NBC and the Today Show producers or whoever it is that is in charge of "talent". I think you've got a great team!"

New Food Discoveries in ATL (new to me, at least)

Now that The "A" is my new home, I just thought I'd share some of my new discoveries with you...

Seasons 52 Restaurant at Perimeter Mall. Awesome, fresh food, the don't deep fry and keep everything healthy and transfat-free. The pork loin and the scallops are to die for. Love the mini-deserts because they allow you to get a taste of everything! Thanks to cuz'n Lori for sharing this place! And if you like wine, they have tons!

Copelands Cheesecake Bistro at Atlantic Station. Rich food. Great atmosphere. Mac 'N Cheese will make you gooey all over! And the fried catfish melts in your mouth. Beats the hell out of the original Copelands!

Canton Cooks in Sandy Springs (Hammond at Roswell Rd) is one of the best Chinese food joints I've been to in ages (thanks to the hubby). Their hot and sour soup will kill a cold, and the Mongolian Beef has just the right combination of sweetness and salt. Don't go there for chic atmosphere or a romantic dinner, but if you want great taste, it is THE SPOT for Chinese.

I'm BAAAACCKKKKK!

I've been gone for a long time... I'm just not realizing HOW long -- almost 5 months. Forgive me! Life has been wonderful and tumultuous these last months and I have so much in me to share and get out of me... I fear my carpal tunnel will go into code red. Time had become such a commodity this summer, so blogging was one of those things (along with pleasure reading and working out) which had to be cut back.

Just to give you a quick breakdown, here's what I've been up to since we last encountered (and my excuse for being MIA for so long):

April - Put my house on the market in DC to prepare to move to ATL
June 30 - Moved to Atlanta, Georgia - Yay, I finally got out of DC!
July 7 - Was maid of honor at my girl Deb's wedding in NJ. Beautiful wedding!
July 21 - Went to the emergency room because I was hemorrhaging and severely anemic - Help me, Jesus!
July 29 - I turned 34 years old... WOW - I can't believe i'm 34!
August 16 - Had surgery to remove uterine fibroids. Ouch!!
August 31 - I got married in Gulf Shores, Alabama. Yahooo!!!
Sept 2 - Flew to Thailand with my new hubby for a 2 week honeymoon in Bangkok, Chiang Mai, and Phuket, Thailand... great time!
Sept 15 - we made it back safe and sound the day after a plane went down in Phuket! Thank you, Lord!

Since then, my house in DC is STILL on the market and the price has been severely dropped. The housing market has tanked and by the end of October, my tenants in my Fairfax property are moving out so I have to try and sell that too. Meanwhile we are looking for our new home in Atlanta and even though the market has gotten bad, we've been outbid on two houses that have been on the market for less than a week. What the heck?

I've recovered nicely from the surgery and am feeling better and more energetic than I have in almost a year! The family's good, married life agrees with me (actually feels no different than before to be honest), so I can't complain about life in general.

All I can keep saying is, God is still on the throne. He knows my heart and what i need. He'll never put more on me than I can bear. He may not show up when you want Him but He's always on time. I'm reminded of this daily.

There is so much in me waiting to be birthed, not only experiences I want to put down for the records (blogging, journaling, etc) but ideas and just thoughts. I hope to start sharing more and more as life calms down. But in the mean time, don't write me off. See you soon!

Heffa, Say What?!?!

As I'm still on this theme of friendships and rationalizing how selfish people can be, my sister has asked me for a guest list for our engagement/farewell/bridal shower party she's throwing me and Mr. Hi-Fi before the migration to ATL. So, I'm going through my contacts list and come across those few people who I feel I don't really want to invite but it's kinda political and would be awkward if I don't. But who cares cuz I'm moving away, right? RIGHT! For the most part, I throw out all the names except for two... I have history with them. We had some good times. They've been there for me back in the day. But for whatever reason they did things that hurt me. Maybe not intentionally, but they hurt me. And after I expressed my hurt, they did it again. So I distanced myself and only speak to them once in a blue moon. I rationalized it by saying, "Well, she is just a very flirtatious, touchy-feely person and maybe she wasn't consciously thinking that she was flirting with my man," and, "Well, she was going through her own thing and just needed time to herself, so she probably doesn't mean to be sometimey or cut me off like that (then come back when she needs something)." So maybe I should invite them... Hmmmm.... I'm a punk, right?

How many chances do you give someone before you write them off completely? The Bible says to forgive 70 x 7 times. Shooooot. That's being called a fool, ain't it? And then there's the thing where I can forgive but not give them the opportunity to hurt me again... but that to me is not true forgiveness if you don't allow yourself to be vulnerable again. Well, anyway as I struggle with the decision to invite, or not invite, I thought I'd share this poem I wrote on an occasion with one of these "friends" hurt me. See what you think... would you forgive?

Heffa Say What?!?!
© October 28, 2005

It was raining like mad,
He dropped me off at the front door
Then came in a few minutes later
As drool from her lips hit the floor.

As he walked up and took my hand
she said, “I’d do him anytime, any day”
And then looked at me as if waiting
For whatever it was I had to say.

With daring in her eyes
She looked right in my face
And I turned toward her
And lessened our in-between space.

I wanted to say “Hold up,
don’t make me have to kick your butt,”
But all I could think to say was
Heffa Say What?

My girl told me one day
“I have a confession I’m making”
But what she should’ve said is,
“I have an obsession with taking.”

It seems she accidentally tripped
And fell on my man’s chest
Said she was just playing
And didn’t mean to be all on his breasts.

Said they were tight and hard
But it didn’t mean nothin’,
So MY chest got swole and tight
And I started huffin’ and puffin’.

So with fire in my eyes
And daggers on my lips,
I calmly watched her sashay away,
And she playful switched her hips.

I wanted to send her
Ever so quickly down south
With a nice, firm,
open-handed slap in the mouth.

But I’m a Christian
And that wouldn’t be the Godly thing to do
But what I said wasn’t enough
And I can’t be made out to be no fool.

I wanted to say
Watch out now, Don’t get cut
But the shock only left me with the words:
Heffa Say What?

She giggled like I was joking
And it was no big deal
Little did she know
My feelings weren’t about to heal.

I shoulda cold-cocked her in the jaw
or punched her in the gut,
But all I could think to say was
Heffa Say What?

This wasn’t the first time she did this,
And I knew she knew better,
So I had to accept the fact,
That who I called “friend” was indeed a heffa.

What I did perhaps wasn’t tough,
And what I said may have seemed weak
But to this day I’m thankful
That I’m still in one piece.

Cuz women can be violent,
Nasty and mean,
But I still got my dignity and my man,
And my self esteem.

I’ve realized people will diss you,
And respect is not a rule,
And you can’t always be the one
To take folks to school.

So if your ego gets bruised
By some skanky ole mutt,
Just remember don’t get mad at yourself,
If all you can say is Heffa Say what?!?!?!

Are People Inherently... Selfish?

I've always believed that people are inherently good. I've always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. I've made excuses for people who've done me wrong. I treat people the way I would want to be treated. AND I've been taken advantage of.

This should be the happiest time of my life. I'm engaged to be married, I have new adventures with Hi-Fi and the fun of designing a new home in a new place to look forward to. I am successful in my career and I have a loving family and loving friends... well... a few friends. As I get older, it seems that the people I can call "friend" are fewer and fewer. In a few weeks I will leave the DC area, which is where I've lived my entire adult life. It's alittle scary - picking up and moving to another state where I have only a couple friends. My saving grace is that my future husband will be there for me. But we all need friends -- preferably more than just one.

Today, what saddens me is that my sister has to come from halfway around the world - London - to give me a farewell/engagement/bridal shower party. True, she is my maid of honor and my only bridesmaid in my wedding, and that's what maids of honor do; but all my "friends" know she doesn't live here. Only one friend suggested she'd like to give me an engagement party back in February but I guess I didn't push it because I didn't want that financial burden on her. She and my other closest friend did take us to dinner, though, and I'm thankful for that. But where is everyone else? Where are all my girls to be happy for me? To go with me to try on gowns? To consult with on invitations and jewelry? To help me make those important wedding decisions? To help me pack my stuff as I get ready to move? To be sad and tell me they wished I weren't moving and they'll miss me?

I've always been a friend as best as I can. I'm there for people. I listen and I advise (when asked). I share my knowledge, my food, my home, my money. I've painted rooms, helped clean, given free design work, and treated to dinner when someone's pockets were tight. I send cards or gifts even when I never received one from them. I give rides and do favors and almost never ask for anything in return - and definitely nothing that would inconvenience someone. So, in my time of nervousness and excitement with a looming move and upcoming marriage, where are those who are supposed to be there to bolster me, love me, encourage me?

I dunno. You tell me.

I know people are busy and everybody's got their own "stuff" but are people so self-centered that they can't take the time to make a phone call or reach out to me? Do they think, "Oh, she's leaving DC, so I don't have to invest in that friendship anymore,"?

I've gotten to the point where I don't think people are so inherently good anymore. I'm starting to believe people are inherently selfish and all they care about is what they can get from you. I'm tired of getting phone calls only when someone needs something. How about returning my calls when I just want to see how you're doing? Or how about just calling me to see how I'm doing?

SIGH.

Well, nobody likes a pity party - especially me. I just really wonder: What happened to being a friend for the sake of friendship? What happened to being happy for the blessings of your friends instead of being jealous that you don't have what they have? What happened to caring and being there for someone? Is it this crazy money-hungry DC area that breeds this selfish way of life? Is it the commercialism and idea that "whoever has the most toys wins" and that we're all in some sort of competition to get to the finish line first? Is it all about how we were reared by our parents? Too many questions to answer that leave me wondering on that ole saying...

"A friend in need is a friend indeed." But there is also a Latin proverb that says, "If you always live with those who are lame, you will yourself learn to limp." I refuse to limp.

Ode to Spring

ahhh glorious spring has sprung
and like the birds, I'm soaring
high on anti-allergy drugs that make me groggy and feel blah.
my eyes itch as i take in your splendor of budding flowers and trees
and i want to nap and be lazy.

oh wonderful springtime!
i'm floating like the tiny pollen molecules that stick to my clothes and inner sinuses
and coat my car and kitchen counters in a chartreuse haze.
should i close the windows and trap them inside?
no -- for i must circulate air and savor these few days of rest for the heat pump.
yes, majestic spring, you spring hope in my heart --
to have one month that my electricity bill will be under $400.
oh, to dream!

thank you, mother nature, for beautiful springtime!
you gift us with warmth so that hoochies can now wear less and less clothing
and show all their business when nobody wants to see,
and hammertime feet may come out of hibernation
to grip the edges of too-small sandals
and threaten to scrape the sidewalk.

ahh glorious spring --
your beauty and majesty enfolds me and i am smitten
with the dandelions and unnamed weeds that claim my lawn...
they stand tall as they stare boldly at my weed-wacker and yell,
"YOU WANT SUMMA DIS?"

i shake my fist at them and yell:
"DAMN YOU, SPRINGTIME!" but i'm glad winter's over.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Good morning, Blogworld! In a depressing time of world war, random killings on college campuses (see previous entry), George Bush, a possible pending recession, global warming, and natural disasters, one may ask, "When will things get better?" In my own little microcosm, I am plagued with lack of motivation, frustration of stupid people who don't do what they're supposed to or say they're going to do, crazy clients who want everything for nothing, cramps and PMS, and the stress of trying to sell my home in a sucky real estate market. We've all got a lot of stuff we're dealing with that makes life hard. All around me, my friends are dealing with huge life issues that are causing them to lose sleep, not eat, and ultimately taking a toll on their physical and mental health. It breaks my heart that my closest friends are dealing with major health problems, awful job situations, family feuds and losing their parents to old age and Alzheimer's. How can one cope?

I was just whining to my fiance this morning and he showed me this website that I borrowed the pictures from. Its really true: Sometimes you've got to laugh to keep from crying. In a world that pressures you daily to get ahead and forces you to fight to stay on top, there needs to be a moment of stillness... catch your breath... take a break... be lazy. The mental/spiritual state of a human is a delicate thing. It needs care and nourishing. And if no time is spent to nourish that inner man, he can snap. And as I've said earlier, I know I've been on the balancing line between sanity and insanity a couple of times - especially when the hormones threaten to possess me like a demon (I'm sure the ladies know what I mean).



So today, I share with you some DEMOTIVATION. I don't mean to make fun of the despair of others, but let's be realistic. We all live in this mad and crazy world. We can't be on the top, and nobody's perfect. Everyone has problems, issues and situations to deal with that they wish they didn't have. Know that you are not alone in your despair and relish in the fact that there are plenty of other people who feel like you do or worse! There are thousands or millions of people who are not as attractive and smart as you are! You can't always make lemonade from lemons if the lemons are dried up or rotten! Let's just face it - Life is hard and mean people suck.


So, if you're feeling a bit lazy today and unmotivated like I am and you need some time to just unwind, DO IT! The world won't stop spinning if you call in slick or take a mental health day. The company survived before you and they will survive without you. It often pays to play dumb. I admonish you - if you feel like being lazy, be good at it! Be the best sofa spud you can be! If you're not going to work today, be the best goof off in the office! Beat your highest score at Solitaire and be proud!

So I offer you these demotivational messages for the day. They are meant to give you a smile in the midst of your despair or this period of whatever you're going through that's got you down. But know that trouble don't last always. You just have to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and YOU are always that light... you just gotta get to the point where you can let it shine. But that's a message for another day so I digress...




In order of appearance:
AGONY: Not all pain is gain.
INDIFFERENCE: It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
DARE TO SLACK: When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.
LAZINESS: Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running.

You can find more at http://www.despair.com/. Enjoy!

What's the World Coming to?

Is it me or does it seem like we're in the midst of a chapter in Revelations (The Holy Bible)? Crazy natural disasters like Katrina and tidal waves, freezing wind storms in the middle of Spring, mass killings here at home and in an unjustified war... what's next? Locust swarms and blood red oceans?

Life is overwhelming sometimes. Just living from day to day can put insurmountable pressure on a person - especially young people who aren't fully grounded and are still trying to figure things out. There is a fine line between sanity and insanity, and I think there have been a couple times in my life where I felt I was balancing right on that line. Had it not been for prayer and believing that God's got me in the palm of His hand, as well as friends and family being there for me, I would've surely lost it.

33 innocent people killed for no good reason on a college campus and many more injured. Lord, how do we make sense of this? Believers know that God doesn't let anything happen that He doesn't want to happen. He even has to give permission for the Devil to act a fool, right? We just have to believe that there is a reason for all this and that perhaps it is just not our place to understand the "why?" of it all.

If nothing else, this is one of those times where we all need something to hold on to -- call it religion, faith, whatever. You gotta believe that you are not alone no matter how lonely or abandoned you feel. I really wonder what this kid's parents are like and if they ever showed him love or encouraged him. I'm not saying it's always the parents fault. But we have to show love to those around us. Be an encouragement to someone. Feel free to compliment your friends and family on how beautiful, sweet, wonderful they are. Be proud of your children and tell them so. Be an example of self-love to those around you.

If you have no friends or family, and you feel you are unloved, you have to learn to love yourself. Affirm yourself on a daily basis. Talk to someone. Seek help whether it be with someone you know or call a hotline. Here are just a few.

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Depression Hotline: 630-482-9696

If you do not believe in God or some greater power, learn to believe in yourself. There is spirit within all of us that is inherently good. Recognize the good things about yourself and love that part of you. Nurture it. Meditate on it. If you're in a bad situation or surrounded by negativity, fight with all your might to get away from it. You have the power to reinvent yourself. Just believe that you have a purpose on this earth and that if you just hold on, something good will come.

Rant of the Day - Electricity Bill Shock

I just had to get this out and since I'm alone at home and no one would hear me scream other than my two cats who would just look at me with nonchalance. It's not good to hold things in, and my pressure's already up. So, I yellingly ask....

WHY THE HELL IS MY PEPCO ELECTRICITY BILL $738?????

This is abso-freakin-rediculous, is it not? It has doubled since the last bill. I admit, I figured it would be in the $400's (like it was in Dec.) but $700's? Is someone stealing my kilowatts or what? Last year my highest bill was $360 and I was outraged at that! And that was when I had about a thousand Christmas lights blaring all night long. (I didn't put them up again this year simply because of the electricity bill!)

How can the price per unit have basically doubled since last year and the price of gas has not, so they can't use that as an excuse like the gas companies! I thought we got electricity from coal not oil or gas!

Last year the price per KWH was 0.0566800. It is now 0.0933100. That is a 61% increase. How is this fair? First of all electricity companies basically have a monopoly in the area they service (I don't have any other choice than Pepco - to my knowledge). Why are they allowed to charge whatever they want? And why isn't the local or even federal government doing something about this like they did with breaking up AT&T back in the 80s? At least we have some other options for residential phone service now with the advent of VoIP service or using a cell phone as your primary phone and that has forced Verizon and other monopolistic phone companies to lower their rates.

Is it just me or did everybody's bill double with the last month's cycle? And if I used less than double the amount of KWH's from last month, why is my bill MORE than 50% higher? Something stinks here, people. We need to write to Congress about this or something because I feel the electricity and gas companies are using the war as an excuse to rape us all. If my next bill is not considerably lower, I will be forced to place bear traps all around my outside meter and I will beat the meter-reader until he punches in a negative usage number for my meter!
Pepco is the anti-Christ.

Don't Give Up -- ADAPT!

So there's this dog. Been on lots of TV talk shows (I've seen her on Oprah and Ellen and I'm sure she's been elsewhere) and video clips of her have been sent all over the world. What's so special about this dog named "Faith"? She only has two legs. This dog stands upright and walks like a human! And is just as happy and tail-waggin' as can be! Amazing! Right?



History and science has shown us that we've evolved or adapted to our surroundings. Africans' skin produces darker pigmentation in order to shield them from the harsh tropical sun, for example. A blind boy learns to "see" by using oral clicking sounds like sonar radar - he can even rollerblade and play basketball!



We are the highest form of living being on this planet (that we know of). We are made in God's image. We have emotions and intelligence - these are the things that set us apart from the other animals. We are supposed to be strong not only in body, but also in mind and spirit. So why do we throw in the towel so easily when things get rough? Why do we get depressed or stay in ruts for months or years at a time? Why do we let set backs stop us so easily? They are just that - "set backs" not "the end". They may set you back, but you gotta keep going.

I show the example of Faith, the dog, and Ben, the sonar-seeing boy, to exemplify how when people are faced with adversity and hardship, they don't have to give up. We can ADAPT.

Yeah, you know the old adage, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" Well why not make lemon creme pie? Or a coconut-lemon cake? Or even a nice chicken penne with a lemon-butter sauce? (Sorry - I missed lunch today.) The point is, there are many ways to work around that thing that keeps getting in your way.

There is no limit to what we can do if we learn to stay focused and keep moving forward no matter what. If an obstacle appears, build a bridge and get over it! If you throw a pity party, you'll find the only guest who wants to be there is you. And if you keep getting hit with the same ole mess, it's time to reinvent, rework or redirect. Try something different than what you've been doing. With faith and perseverance, all things are possible.

Peace and blessings.

Fantasia's New Favorite Color

All I can say is YOU GO, GIRL! Fantasia had me in tears last night on American Idol as she sang "I'm Here," a signature song from the score of the Broadway stage play, Oprah's The Color Purple, where Fantasia will soon be taking on the role of Miss Celie. They had chu'ch up in there last night, and even Simon joined in with the standing ovation which is a rarity. Fantasia worked that song like a champ and showed just how vocally talented she really is. Thank Goodness, cuz I was mat at her for "Wifebeaters and Jeans."

I wonder if it's an ego shot to be asked to play a character who is known in the book/movie/play for being "ugly" (per Suge Avery). But this role can only build her resume and position her to get into the other areas of show-bidness. Shoot, give me a job being Celie, Netty or one of them bad kids, and I'll work harder than Ray Charles at the Soul Train Scramble Board!

I saw the play on Broadway last year on the last night that the original Celie, actress LaChanze, played the role, as well as the last night of Lou Myers' participation (Mr. Vernon Gaines from A Different World) as . The play had me on my feet, in tears, jumping for joy and waving my hands like I was born and raised Pentecostal. But I think I'll have to get back to check out Fantasia sometime this year.

Don't Keep "The Secret"

By now, unless you live in a cave and have never heard of Oprah Winfrey, you've heard about "The Secret: The Law of Attraction". I watched it with my fiancee and we've been talking about it ever since.

The basic principle in "The Secret" is that whatever you give your energy to, that is what you will attract - whether negative or positive. If you're visualizing and saying "I'm broke" then you will continue to be broke. If you visualize and say, "I am wonderful and lovable" then that is what you will attract. It's basic stuff that I've known for years but it's been packaged in a different way. It's truly a combination of things that Oprah's been teaching for years. Some of it sounds exactly like some of her main concepts she shared in her Live Your Best Life Ever Tour. Oddly though, Oprah seems to have had no part in the making of this video, but thanks to her, it's an international phenomenon.

We've always heard about karma and "you get out what you put in," or "dress the part," or "if you can believe it, you can achieve it". That's basically what this is all about. There's a bit of scientific stuff thrown in to make it seem more real, but the bottom line is, you gotta have faith. "The Secret" is all about teaching you to believe in yourself and have faith in your abilities to achieve whatever you can dream of and KNOW that the universe, the Spirits, GOD (or whatever you call your higher being) are all in cahoots to help you if you put your mind and energy to it.

There are some things about "The Secret" that are alittle difficult to grasp but we've put it to the test with something as simple visualizing and believing we'd find a good parking space at an overcrowded mall. We spoke it and visualized it and in seconds a space two spots down from the Handicapped spaces right in front of the entrance.

It's all about positive thinking and learning to channel your energies toward the wonderful dreams you have in life. Envision yourself living in peace and health, with joy, with wealth, with a happy family and the career you've always wanted. Envision the home you've always wanted. See the man/woman of your dreams. Daydream about those things. Collect pictures that represent those things and look at them daily. See it NOW and don't look towards the distant future and most importantly, stop focusing on the past. Stop using excuses of "family curses" and "how much [you've] been through." There's enough peace, joy and prosperity for everyone. Stop thinking in terms of "lack" or "not enough to go around."

So, if for nothing else but to satisfy your curiosity, take an hour and 20 minutes and watch this thing if you can get your hands on it. Unfortunately, it's been removed from YouTube. Listen intently and allow your mind to be open. I hope this inspires or helps someone. Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with "The Secret". Peace and blessings.

Thought of the Day

Happy Belated Valentimes Day to my Blogging Family! (Yes, I said ValenTIMES)

I hope you all had an enjoyable, peaceful, fun and/or romantical day yesterday. I also hope that you felt very loved and cherished by someone or many, just as everyone should. And if you didn't have a "Valentine" to call your own, know that you have your Self to love and treat better than anyone ever could.

I apologize for my slacking this week. I've been overtaken with preliminary wedding plans and a surge in work, in addition to my fiancee being in town. I just wanted to share this thought for all my Christian Sista-Gurls out there in their quest for the man of their dreams:

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her."

It may sound cliche but it's so true. I do believe that is what happened to me. My prince didn't find me until I had given up on men and found my joy in myself and love of my own spirit - which is the Spirit of God in me. Once you give up on the thought of a man coming into your life to bring you joy, and fall in love with yourself and appreciate where you are, the planets will align to put your soul mate in your life. Faith is hard to hold on to, but I promise, it'll be worth it. This goes for the men, too!

My First Crush Part 1 – “Eyes Wide Open”

Good morning, peeps and peepettes. I was inspired by a fellow blogger to write about my first crush. Again in the theme of leaving the old behind and starting anew, I thought I would write about it to symbolically "let it go." So here’s how it all went down…

In kindergarten, I met a little dark brown boy... Jarrod*. Jarrod had the smoothest skin I'd ever seen and the brightest smile south of the Mason-Dixon line. We were Mrs. Smith's star pupils - me, because I could already write "in cursive" and he because he was so articulate for his age.


Even at the tender age of 5, I was entrepreneurial. Jarrod would give me a Now-and-Later or a couple Lemon Heads (depending on what he had at the time) to write his name in cursive for him on a little piece of paper. He did this a few times and would show them to other kids and then began giving them out like business cards. He basically helped me start my first business, because shortly thereafter, kids began paying me a dime to write their names in script as well. And back in 70... ehem, the early 80's, a dime to a kid was a grip.

Well into first grade, Jarrod and I were thick as thieves, but there was a little white boy (we'll call him Jimmy*) who was pushin' up on a little sista, and at that time, I just went with the flow. Now, I wasn't trying to be a playa, but sometimes things happen. Unbeknown to me, Jarrod thought we had alittle sumthin' sumthin' because we would mostly hang together in class -- we even made sure when it was nap time that our mats were all but touching. Not to mention my little business venture afforded me to be caked up on a daily basis, so I would share the wealth with him freely come snack time.

However, during lunch, we hardly saw each other as I mostly ate with the girls and he with the boys. Back then, "Black" and "White" didn't really mean anything to us, so we had friends of both races. (I can't say all races because at that time in Southern Alabama, you were either Black or White. I don't remember anything in between (other than myself) until I was in Junior High.

One day, late in the school year, Jimmy talked me into going on an adventure towards the back of the school yard where the big oak trees were. We rarely ventured back there as it was mainly a stomping ground for the "big kids" -- you know, fourth and fifth graders. But on this day, I went.

Jimmy was a smooth talker, even through his gapped crooked teeth. While he was a scrawny, somewhat dirty-lookin' kid, I was a sucker for his compliments of my long, pretty braids and my red and yellow flowery custom-couture frock from the "House of Mama." I guess you could say this was my "rough-neck period."

By the time the lunch bell rang, my back was against one of those big old oak trees and he had pressed his lips up against mine – eyes wide open. I don't remember our bodies touching, but I remember he had a funny scent – bologna I think. I do remember that we ran back through the yard holding hands, sprinting to be inside before the late bell rang.

Well, this kid named Barney saw the whole scandalous episode, and word spreads quickly at Daphne Elementary School. By the time we made it back into class, everybody knew I had been ho’in’ around with Jimmy among the oak trees. I had disgraced my family name, but what hurt even more was how Jarrod stopped talking to me. He wouldn’t respond to my little notes and he ignored me at break time for the rest of the school year. No one knew why, and he wasn't telling - although there was some talk about him being jealous of what I did with Jimmy. [Background music: Cherrelle's "I Didn't Mean to Turn You On"]

Jarrod used to come to my mom’s store every so often with his mom, but that summer I didn’t see him once. I asked how he was doing and his mom told me he was fine and had gone to summer camp, but I knew camp didn’t last all summer and that he was avoiding me.

At the last minute during the first week of my second grade year, my parents decided to put me, along with my two brothers, in private school. I was glad because I hated my teacher Miss Jay. Jarrod had been put in a different section so we weren’t in the same class, but I did see him during break and lunch. He still wouldn’t talk to or acknowledge me. I wouldn’t see him again for almost 5 years, nor did I ever see Jimmy again. And I can't stand bologna.

To be continued…

*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of those persons referenced.

Who's the Real Pig?

This whole Tyra Banks controversy is getting ridiculous (just like the Isaiah Washington getting gay therapy two weeks ago but I digress...). I just have to "weigh in" on this one though. These two radio DJ's Opie & Anthony have now shown the difference between having a big ass and being a big ass. How childish is it that they've now put a big banner outside of CBS Studios that says "Tyra Banks is a Fatty Pig Fatty"? First off, learn not to end a sentence with an adjective, fools! (B), I'm clutching my pearls that CBS would even allow this without firing the two DJ's, and (3) I hope Tyra can sue for slander or something.

I know Tyra has her own issues, but I have to give her props for standing up to the tabloids and public ridicule about her putting on weight. It took a lot of guts for her to put on that bathing suit on her show and let heavy girls know that it's OK to not be a size 4/6 and that curves are beautiful. Most men want a curvy woman anyway (thank the Lord!). You GO, Tyra!

Tyra hung up her modeling gear so she should have every right to eat what she wants and be whatever size she's comfortable with. After years of eating nothing but a leaf of lettuce and a sprig of parsley every day, I would be up to my ears in rice crispy treats and Haagen Daaz. Don't think that she doesn't have personal trainers or ways to get the wait off if she wants to. You do YOU, T!

If these two DJs have nothing better to do than spread hate and poke fun at someone WAY more famous than them who is getting paid WAY more money than them, that says something about how SMALL they really are - in mind, spirit, and most likely other areas too. Bullies almost always make fun of others to try and hide their own inadequacies or because they are jealous. With a name like "Opie" it kinda makes sense.

This reminds me of middle school when race started becoming an issue and my fellow classmates began dividing themselves by ethnic groups. It was always an ugly, freckle-faced, scrawny white boy or two picking on the black girls by pulling their hair or calling them names. Grow up, white boys. I'd rather see Tyra's big ass than your pasty white, hairy, flat one any day. And as far as Tyra "eating Opie and Anthony for dinner", why would she want something the dog wouldn't eat when she could have a gourmet meal?

Ode to My Sole(s)

Well, now that my love has been claimed by Mr. Hi-Fi (he doesn't have a blog yet) with this purty new rock on my finger, I realize it's time to leave the old things behind as we embark on a new life together. When true love exists in any space in time, I believe it's virtually impossible for it ever to be erased or eliminated. Love is love - then, now and always. So, while I know I must prepare myself for marriage and re-prioritize since my husband will come first now, I share this poem that I wrote to one of the past-loves of my life.... I call it "Sole Love." Let me know if you feel me.

You take me wherever I go,
Where you lead is where I follow.
My love for you like a rainbow –
So many colors and hues,
A room in my house dedicated only to you.
All for your comfort and care
All 98 or so pair.
For going over 100 would be excessive,
I thank you so much,
For allowing me to be expressive,
For keeping me in touch.
For you walk with me – never tiring,
But when you grow old,
You talk with me – so uninspiring.
But even then, I’ll continue to love you,
Will still take care of you.
Will pay for the repair of you:
My wonderful you,
Even with all our ish-shoes,
You are my sole love.

Shoe sketch © by UAintNevaLied.

February 4, 2007 - A Day for the History Books

Happy Monday, Everyone. I hope you all enjoyed the Superbowl yesterday. Big Thanks to Butta for a lovely time and the yummy chilli. Although I was looking for an Anti-Superbowl Party to go to, I ended up at Butta's Superbowl Potluck Set and I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed watching the game. I didn't realize how much I actually knew about the game until I was right-on with the refs as I called every personal, traveling, and fragrant* foul that was committed by the players. Even with the lack of home runs in the game, I enjoyed the action of the game -- but more than that, the company, the food and best of all, the halftime show.

Prince TORE. IT. UP. Aside from the man being a musical genius, he is the only one that can work a guitar, a do-rag and some high heels in the rain and still break it down so that it can forever be broke. If anybody out there missed it, here's my favorite part of the performance when my original baby daddy so appropriately sang, Perpetual... Pouring... I mean Purple Rain as we lifted our lighters in reverence to the Androgynous King of Diamonds, Pearls and Pink Cashmere...



Seeing this made it all worthwhile. I can't imagine there ever being a half-time show better than this. The Super Purple People Eater, aka Prince, in my opinion, truly should be in the history books. And how appropriate that ths game was indeed a historical event -- setting new records and being the first ever Superbowl to be won (and lost) by a Black Coach and possibly (correct me on this 'cuz I'm assuming) the only winning Coach to aknowledge God in his victory speech.

Big ups to the producers and everyone who had part in making this game something that I shall never forget - even moreso because it is how I spent the first evening of being engaged to my new fiance, the G-Bear himself and my new Prince. (Let's see who reads this posting in its entirety).

I hope you all enjoyed your weekend as much as I did!

*Fragrant foul - Not to be confused with "flagrant foul". This is when a very large player piles at the top of a heap of players after a tackle and flatulates, forcing the heap of players to inhale his stank, therefore intoxicating them so that they are fuzzy-minded during the next play. Usually a 20-yard penalty.

Does it Help You if I Wear Red?

So today is National Wear Red Day in support of awareness for Women and Heart Disease - our #1 killer (of men, too). So, I might put on some red this afternoon when I have to go out... it happens to be one of my favorite colors and I look pretty good in it, too. I've done the "wear black in support of...." this or "wear white in support of..." that, but I must come out of the color clothing closet and admit that I don't get it. Same with the little ribbons on my lapel, which I've had several of.

I'm curious. Has anyone out there decided to get their blood pressure checked or took time to research heart disease because they saw people wearing red? Were any of the other "wear some color to support [yada yada yada]" days helpful in anyway? Did seeing a little pink ribbon on some one's lapel remind you to do your breast self-exam or go get a mammogram? I thought that the little ribbons would at least open up dialogue and give me an opportunity to tell someone what it's about, but no one's ever asked me to explain.

I'm not saying it's a bad idea and I have nothing against people taking a stand to collectively observe an issue. I'd just really like to know if my wardrobe choice is really doing something positive for someone's - anyone's - health. Please let me know. Thanks!

Anti-Superbowl Party, Anyone?

Well, it's the same thing every year. It's Superbowl season and I feel like the pigeon-toed, lazy-eyed step child of the Western World. I'm not into football (baseball either but that's another story). Never have been. Doubt I ever will be. Been to several pro games... Washington Redskins (of course), B'more Ravens, ATL Braves, and the Houston... umm... what are they called? The fun of it only came from seeing the men in tights and having an opportunity to participate in "the wave" when all the people in the stadium collectively do a stand-up-sit-down dance. I still think that's amazing... I mean, like, how does the wave start?

Anyway, the old hullabaloo of what to do on Sunday afternoon comes up and while I've been to many a Superbowl party, and could use it as an excuse to go to someone's home and be loud and eat junk food, I'm looking for more exciting alternatives. Not to mention I wish to defy all those people who make you feel like anybody who's anybody has to be at a Superbowl Party somewhere... Not in my world.

While the world consumes massive amounts of beer and pizza, and screams obscenities at players who can't hear them, what will I do? I could read a good book and lounge on my couch or pay-per-view a flick, but since that's been the Sunday afternoon norm since I took this semester off from school, I'm thinking I need something different.

So, is anybody having an Anti-Superbowl Party? This is a great opportunity for club and party promoters. Have a Happy Hour on Superbowl Sunday for all the non-football watchers like myself. OK, maybe it'll just be females and gay men, but we'd still have a great time tossing back cosmos and dancing to some ole school disco and house. I'm waiting to get my "free before the game starts" email pass on that, so let me know! Otherwise, I think I'll be repainting my master bathroom and cleaning out all my heat pump registers in the house.

BIG Shout out to all my football non-lovers who are tired of faking like you're into the game and cheering just 'cause everyone else is and/or to those who DVR the game just to go back through and watch the funny commercials.

Joke of the Day

Why should you never steal cheese from a Mexican restaurant?....

Obviously, it's Na-Cho cheese!

(ok, i made this one up when i was 8 years old. feelin' kinda corny today.)

Why Didn't I Think of That?

Perfect gift for your single male buddies who love to nap (or female buddies, if they go that way).

Music Throwback of the Day

Club Nouveau - Situation #9. Click to play clip

Things I Can't Live Without

OK, well technically I could live without them, so this is really more of a review of my most cherished blessings - the things I'm most thankful for. I suggest you make a similar list of yours. When you're feeling alittle funky (like I am today with this gloomy, cold weather), go back to your list and reflect on how blessed you are. Continue to add to it whenever you think of something new.

1. Music, Music, Music
2. Chocolate - Especially Harry & David's Milk Chocolate Bing Cherries
   







3. Red Lobster's Cheddar Baked Biscuits (That's about all they have that I want.)
4. My family and friends and my LBG
   








5. Rudy and Shmoo













6. Good books
7. The ability to write
8. Cute Shoes
9. Ice Cream - Esp. Dove Bars, Breyers Butter Pecan, Hagen Daaz Coffee
10. Sweet memories
11. HGTV
12. Sunrises and sunsets


13. Cheesecake Factory's Key Lime Cheesecake
14. Legal's Stuffed Lobster
15. Popeye's Chicken 'n Biscuits
16. Flowers

Yup, those are pretty much in order of priority :-). The things you love most can tell you a lot about yourself. I realize a lot of mine are food items. Maybe I need to find more non-food things that I'm really into. Or maybe I need to be a food critic. Enjoy your day and don't forget to count your blessings!

Today's Tip (For Single Ladies)

My boyfriend's cousin gave me this great idea. It seems that one of her girlfriends who's single was burgled once while she was home alone. It was dark and as soon as she realized an intruder was in the house, she yelled at the top of her lungs, "{Insert manly name here], COME QUICK AND BRING THE GUN!" And the intruder actually ran off! Hopefully, I'll never have reason to use it but I just thought I'd share...

What Ever Happened To... A Taste of Honey?

Sitting here listening to whatever's on my HD and an oldie but goodie comes on and takes me back. Way back --"Sukiyaki" by Grammy Award Winners, A Taste of Honey. The disco group started in 1970 and released their first album in '78. The girl duo of Hazel Payne and bassist Janice Johnson (originally there were 2 dudes in the group too) made music that today has been sampled on countless TV shows, movies as well as other R&B and Hip Hop songs - especially their first #1 hit, "Boogie Oogie Oogie." Their lyrics from "Sukiyaki" made it into the massive hit by Dougie Fresh & Slick Rick, "The Show". In elementary school, I played that 45 so much the crevices in the vinyl all but disappeared. I think that was the first record my mom ever bought me, and I still get misty whenever I hear it. So, what ever happened to that dynamic duo?

Well they had 4 albums together, before Johnson went solo, releasing her own album in 2000. She's partnered up with another chic and is still touring under "A Taste of Honey" billing as "Janice-Marie". I ain't mad at her and some of the songs on her latest LP sound pretty good. You can check them out at: http://www.janice-marie.com/ as well as hear some of the old school cuts from the original "Taste". Ya'll let me know if you hear they're coming to DC!