Congratulations, Obama Family

He told us "YES WE CAN" and I'm happy to say "YES, WE DID!" I am speechless... almost. I don't know how to truly express what i am feeling today. Last night was emotionally draining but one of the most exciting nights of my life. I haven't been so nervous since my wedding day. I am overwhelmed with joy and pride and excitement and relief.

The photos and videos of people celebrating Obama all over the world are so poignant and powerful. How wonderful. I wonder if any other election candidate in our history has garnered this type of international support. I am inspired and recharged.

In my eyes, the world is a more beautiful place today, and I’ve never felt so patriotic before. The energy from last night is still flowing and it touches me – I see people in their cars driving by who are happy, I hear people talking about it in the stores, and they are joyous and can’t wait to celebrate more. I am so proud of US. It is amazing what we can do when we work as a team. Even though we have a long, rough road still ahead of us and each of us are going through in our own way, I have let out a little sigh of release and I’m hopeful for what is to come.

No weapon formed against us shall prosper.

November 4, 2008 - Election Day.

Tomorrow, Barrack Obama could be the first black President Elect of the United States. I'm thinking about how awesome it would be for a young African American or child “of color” to grow up in an era when the president looks like him or her. What a testament it will be to Black boys and girls everywhere that they can truly grow up to be anything they want to be! When I grew up as a biracial (Asian and Black) kid in the deep south during the 70s and 80s, there were no minorities in any leadership position. I assumed the president had to be a white male. I never gave politics a thought, as it was so far removed from my realm of possibilities. At least, that is what I believed.

With everything going on in the world right now: war, global warming, constant natural disasters, recession, etc., I've wondered if I would want to bring a child into this mad, scary world. I thought to myself, what kind of world is this for a kid? So many more pressures and stress on young people now than ever before. But I would love for my child to grow up in a time such as this, assuming Obama wins. I hope my child gets the opportunity to know that a person of any ethnicity can live in the White house; that a member of the minority can lead an entire country even though he was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth. I pray that my child will know this, whether it be from seeing Obama in office, or from seeing some other minority in a powerful public office.

I had the pleasure of meeting Barrack Obama back in 2005 in Chicago's O’Hare Airport. I was there for Fourth of July weekend with some girlfriends, and Obama was on our flight. My friend recognized him and knew who he was; however, I did not. After we deplaned, she raced to catch up with him and asked if he would take a photo with her, and he graciously obliged. I, unfortunately, did not join in the photo, as I was never one to be "star-struck", and I certainly had no idea he would soon be a candidate for the President of the United States. How I wish I had taken a photo with him! Even if he does not win the election, I admire Barrack Obama so much. He is a hero for so many and represents what so many civil rights leaders fought for. He has run his campaign with a class and dignity that is uncommon among candidates for this office. He has shown his intelligence and caring for this nation and is a testament that you can achieve even the loftiest dreams. I would've liked to have that photo to tell my child about the black man who is or who could have and should have been our president.

Reinventing Myself

I feel like I've been in a bit of a rut lately. I don't know if it's just being on the edge of depression from all the issues I've been having: having a house for sale for 1.5+ years, health and hormone problems, family issues, work pressures, having a husband who is perpetually traveling therefore making me feel alone a lot of the time, and just the general stresses of dealing with daily life. I feel like I never have enough time in the day and am always behind.

I realize some of this is self-inflicted, and I probably worry more than I should. I've always said there is no point in worrying about things you cannot control, but I've never felt so out of control in my life. I've had hardships and dealt with problems before -- practically all of the same ones at one time or another. Just never ALL at the SAME TIME. I am holding it together but sometimes I feel it's just by a string that could snap at any time.

I'm sure I'm not alone, and everyone -- every woman, especially women who own/run their own business, and like me, run several businesses -- go through periods where they feel they can just barely hold on. I realize that things could be much worse, and that I am blessed beyond what I deserve: I have a comfortable home, a loving husband and family, great friends, and I have never wanted for anything I need. I have always felt God's favor in my life, but lately I feel somewhat disconnected. I feel He's trying to speak to me, but there's so much "stuff" in my head that it keeps me from hearing Him clearly. The frustration that comes with it only snowballs with the stress and confusion.

I know that God always steps in right on time, as He's proven that over and over in my life. I did actually sell two real estate properties just before this current "crash". We did resolve the recent family issues . He blessed my husband with a much better, higher paying job that the one he was laid off from. [Hubby is so happy there!] While some of my businesses are doing terrible, one is thriving. I got through surgery and a blood transfusion was pretty back to normally within about 48 hours after hemorraging for 10 days and feeling like I was going to die. I really have nothing to complain about. I've just gotta work through this time, and get rid of the negativity in my mind, and get my spirit back in line so I can hear God's whispers.

So, I've decided to work on ME right now. I've decided it's time to reinvent myself, in a matter of speaking. Actually, it's more like getting back to the real me. I've done it before when I've become out of sorts, and I think it's one of those periods when God is trying to move me into a new chapter of my life. I can always feel it coming now.

I've floundered with whether or not to finish a second degree I started in a new industry. I feel sometimes that graphic design is not where I want to or should be. I wonder sometimes if I'm doing all I can to help people, to help the earth, to be a good friend and wife and daughter and sister. I can't help but always think I need to do more, better, faster. All of these thoughts have lodged in my subconscious and make me doubt myself. So, it's time I figure it all out.

Where do I start? I'm reading more, meditating and praying more, and listening more and not talk so much. I'm trying to stay focused and not let stress and anger run me crazy when things don't go my way. I'm not watching the news so much with all the depressing stock market and economic fall-out going on. I'm trying to find things that make me laugh more, and I find I can talk to my dog and he smiles at me. I'm exploring universities in the area to see how I feel about finishing up this second BA in Interior Design. It's not the answer, but it's a start.

With this reinvention, I've decided to rename my Blog. So this is me... Today. I'll keep you posted on who I am tomorrow... or the next day. Or whenever I get back to ya'll. If you're feeling me on this thing, please let me know how you're coping or what you did to reinvent you. PB&J.

To Get Pregnant, Or Not to Get Pregnant... That is the Question

SIGH. Some days I want to have kids. Some days I'm not so sure. I turn 35 this month: the age at which you become "at risk" for problems with giving birth according to the GYN's. We haven't even been married for a year but everyone's bugging us about having babies. I guess I have a combination of issues that make me unsure about having kids.

I wonder if I'm too selfish because I so enjoy having "me" time or "us" time with just my husband and myself. He travels so much that I cherish our weekends and look forward to going to movies or out to dinner or just doing whatever fun things we want to do. I know that those things all change once a baby comes.

I know that with Hubby traveling, I'd be taking care of the child myself a lot. Can i handle that? I don't know.

I also worry that I don't have the patience for a child. I love my 8 nieces and nephews but sometimes the noise and "work" of it all makes it hard to enjoy them. Perhaps I'm so used to just being alone with peace and quiet that my nerves are too easily rattled.

Am I over-thinking this? I do want kids. I just want to be prepared - mentally, physically and financially. But I wonder if that will ever be the case. Insights anyone???

Janet Brings the Rhythm Nation to Ellen Degeneres Show

I JUST watched Janet Jackson perform "Rhythm Nation" on the Ellen Degeneres show. Three words: Fab. Yoo. Lis!


At 40+ years old, Janet is an inspiration. While cosmetically enhanced, she still looks gorgeous. But even more than that, she's still got the moves. The precision of each step and motion of every finger and toe amazes me. Add that to the fact that she still can breathe enough to sing along with the track (you know she never sings totally "live") adds even more awe to her already awesome-ness. The routine was very Michael-esque, but still, nobody can pop-lock like Janet except Rerun from What's Happenin', and I'm positive that he can't even do it anymore.

I just had to sound off with a BIG BIG UPS to Janet. You look fabulis, gurl. You make me want to go back like bucket seats and pull out my all-black outfit with the black baseball cap and big hoop earrings and run to Great Clips and get a curly perm.

An Awesome Church in Atlanta!

Destiny Metropolitan Worship Church in Marrietta, GA, is where I've been attending service for about 8 months now. I have to thank "Leon" who suggested it to me on this blog. It's non-denominational but reminds me in many ways of my Baptist church back home in Virginia. The church is fairly young - a lot of 20- and 30-somethings. You can dress as you want (within reason) from jeans to suits. It's well-organized and well-run, and the church is doing a lot to help the community and surrounding Atlanta area.

The fact that it's non-denominational is actually a plus to me. I'm all for corporate worship but not so much for "organized religion" if that makes any sense. I like that the church welcomes all people regardless of race, color, or denomination, and that the pastor simply tries to teach as accurately as he can from the Bible. It's straight and to the point... not the mention the music is amazing. They sing a lot of my fav's -- especially Fred Hammond. And they bring the house down, too.

Anyway, if anyone is interested in getting their praise on and getting some serious Bible lessons, check out Pastor Crute at Destiny. Here's there website. There's a link to some of the music and lots of other info, including their schedule of services. Hope to see you there! God bless.

http://destinymetro.org/

Where do the birds go...

... when there is a terrible storm?

With all the tornados we've had lately in the Southeast, I wonder where all the birds seek shelter? They come right back out after the storm has passed, just as they were chirping loudly enough to wake me up this morning. I picture them finding abandoned buildings and huddling together to stay warm, perhaps even singing around a fire. But seriously, where do the tens of thousands of birds go when there's a tornado or hurricane and the storm covers hundreds of square miles? Does anyone know??

Hoda and Kathy Lee Not Hoding it Down

Yeah, I know I spoke on how happy I was that Hoda Kotb joined the Today Show's weekly crew but this 10am (EST) hour with she and Kathy Lee are tearing me apart. My schedule is all messed up now. From 7 to 9am, BBC gives me the world news. And normally I'd get all my local weather, style and beauty news, and learn some new stuff from my peeples on Today Show. But the emptiness that fills this gossippy hour with Hoda and Kathy Lee just ain't right. Sorry to say it but I can't watch any longer. I know it's something new and I figured it would take a minute for them to find their "groove" but it's getting worse day by day. In my opinion, this hour of thoughtlessness marked by no more news is really bringing down the credibility of Today Show. I wasn't surprised at Kathy Lee because I was never a big fan. But, Hoda, is that really you?

Sorry, Hoda. I gotta move on. Glad they moved up the reruns of Living Single.